Pregnancy: Week 23 and 24 – I Feel Fat

Does this belly make my butt look big? My love affair with spaghetti is catching up with me. I can’t even fit into my maternity jeans from my pregnancy with Moanna!

The latest pregnancy development has been my vanity. How superficial is that? I never ever in a million years thought I would ever care about how fat I got during pregnancy. Ever. I loved getting big and fat with Moanna, and until recently I’ve been telling this belly to grow, grow, grow. Now I’m telling this belly to woah, woah, woah. It’s getting out of hand, and I know that my obsession with spaghetti isn’t helping matters. I can’t help it; it’s just so amazing.

I feel so fat and uncomfortable. I can feel my belly expanding my the minute. My rib cage and diaphragm are dying. Dying. If I spend any amount of time sitting in front of the computer, folding laundry, or anything that requires the least bit of leaning forward, my ribs and diaphragm feel like they are being pinched. Even if I sit or stand up straight, I feel pinched. To give  my organs a break, I let go of my posture and let my back sway. Ahhh I can breathe and Deuce can move. That bliss is short lived because within a few minutes my back and hips begin to get really angry from the extra strain that’s being put on them. There is no relief! And it’s only going to get worse because Deuce and my belly have a lot of growing to do over the next four months.

The first few months that I was pregnant with Moanna, the nurses at the health department kept freaking out because I was too small and not gaining any weight. When we were able to switch to an OBGYN, he wasn’t worried about my lack of weight gain, and told me that some women lose weight the first few months because they don’t feel like eating and are sick all the time. A few months later, he cautioned me that I was gaining a lot of weight very quickly. He said it wasn’t a huge deal but that labor and recovery would be easier if I wasn’t carrying around unneeded weight. By the end of my pregnancy, he felt that I had gained a perfect amount of weight and did a great job at staying active and eating well.

I’m hoping that my weight gain and belly growth follow the same bell curve that it did with Moanna. That is my hope. My fingers and toes are crossed. Even with that bell curve, I have a feeling I’m going to be much bigger than I was with Moanna. Why? Because I’m much bigger now with Deuce than I was when I was less pregnant with Moanna.

Let’s compare….

This picture was taken on March 7, 2007, almost exactly three months before Moanna was born.

This picture was taken last night (May 5, 2011), and we still have three and a half months before Deuce’s “due date” at the end of August.

You see my problem? Well I guess I have several problems. One being how huge I am compared to last time. Two being that I’ve owned this bathing suit since circa Spring Break 2005. Three being that the then picture was taken in Sunny Florida, and the now picture was taken in our beige bedroom. Forth being that my husband thought I had totally fallen off my rocker when I told him we were recreating this picture. Fifth being that after I created this side-by-side his immedeate and exact words were, “Oh Wow! You are a lot bigger now than you were last time.”

There are many healthy explanations for the increased obesity during this pregnancy compared to my first. To begin, Deuce may be hanging out in my belly differently than Moanna was making my belly more obtuse. Another reasonable explanation, everything happens much sooner in your second pregnancy than it did in  your first (at least that’s what they say to make you feel better). Third, Moanna was a surprise so I wasn’t preparing my body to carry a baby. I was a little underweight, and under an insane amount of stress (senior year of college) when she was conceived. Deuce was planned, so I was taking vitamins and attempting to take care of myself before conception. Fourth, Moanna was petite, less than five and a half pounds, and Deuce might not be such a wee being.

I try to remind myself of these healthy explanations when I can’t squeeze into the maternity jeans I wore the entire time I was pregnant with Moanna. Sometimes the “healthy baby and healthy Mommy” mantra help me be at peace with the fatness, other times my vanity wins. It’s a clear given that I want a healthy happy baby, but I do not want to give birth to a giant baby (I’m a little Mommy) or resemble a whale on the day I go into labor. I keep having visions of myself sitting in the kiddie section of the pool at our gym like a beached whale painting and sweating. The nightmare gets worse when I picture the four tan and slender lifeguards it takes to hoist my water logged whale butt out of the pool. Before the dream is over, I punch them in their bronzed faces and choke them with their long sun bleached blonde ponytails. I’m sorry was that too violent? I’m playing the raging pregnancy hormones card on that outburst.

I know I have no room to talk because some of you out there are further along, some of you are carrying multiples and some of you are giving the calendar the evil eye as your due dates approach and pass. You ladies are champions. Can I offer you a glass of lemonade and a cold bowl of water for your feet? Perhaps I could fan you and feed you frozen grapes? Anything to keep you from wanting to punch me in the face for complaining about how uncomfortably gigantic I feel at 24 weeks.

Weeks 21 and 22
Weeks 19 and 20
Weeks 17 and 18
Week 16
Months 3 and 4
Month 2
Month 1
We’re Having a Baby!

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