I Gave Birth to Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart and I are are as opposite as it gets. We don’t share similar interests. We look nothing alike. I’ve never even been much of a fan of hers. So, I ask you, my loves, how is it possible that I, Renee Adams, gave birth to Martha Stewart? Scary.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have used a Martha recipe or decorating tip from time-to-time, but over all, the woman drives me absolutely insane. People talk about how it’s impossible for women to live up the the model image. They talk about how damaging Barbie is to a girl’s self worth. I am here to tell you that Barbie is not the problem. The problem is Martha. I fear that I will never live up to the Martha image and expectation. How is any woman supposed to feel adequate with Martha Stewart running around cooking gourmet from scratch, sewing curtains, gardening and canning every fruit and vegetable know to man, building wood benches, hosting elaborate dinner parties, reapolstering the living room furniture, and cleaning the whole house with lemon, vinegar and a toothbrush? That is the real roll model crisis folks. The domestic woman who can do everything, and do it perfectly – minus the whole jail sentence and all. Jail time does kind of put it all into perspective doesn’t it?

Moanna does not fear the Martha image. Not at all. Instead, she embraces it – deeply. She is passionate about being a domestic woman in every way possible. And to be just a couple of months shy of four, I can tell you that she is very good at it. She was born good. Scary good. Martha has some serious competition on her heels. Moanna is her generation’s Martha Stewart. And, if you add in her PR skills, her charitable heart and her love for life, we’re looking at a Martha Stewart Oprah Winfrey combo that could take over the world. Scary.

Moanna loves to cook. (Side note: I can’t believe it’s been over a year ago since this picture was taken.)

Anytime I’m in the kitchen, she puts on her apron and wants to know how she can help. I don’t even wear an apron. I totally should with how often I ruin my clothes in the ktichen.

Moanna loves to craft. (Side note: isn’t she so cute making puppets with Daddy?)

She is constantly coloring, snipping, painting, building, creating something. There is an on going collage in her room of candy wrappers that she is constantly working on.

Moanna loves to clean. (Side note: She even wears dresses to clean. When she breaks out the pearls on cleaning day, I’m moving out.)

Moanna will wake me up bright and early on cleaning day to tell me that it’s time to get started. In order to buy myself some time, I set my phone for five minutes and tell her to go clean her play area while I get ready.

Moanna loves to garden. (Side note: Yes she wears dresses to garden, and yes she wears this outfit a lot.)

She worked really hard on these potted plants. If she had it her way, we’d have gardens filled with flowers and vegetables.

I don’t have photographic evidence on hand, but Moanna also loves to decorate. We MUST decorate for every holiday, even it’s a holiday that most people would never decorate for. Our fireplace is constantly covered with Moanna’s decorations. She also loves social gatherings, making homemade gifts and turning trash into handy little whatnots. She loves everything Martha.

I gave birth to Martha Stewart. Scary. (Side note: I love her. Her Marthaness makes me a much better cook, crafter, cleaner, gardener, decorator, hostess, trash repurposer, wife, Mommy, domestic being. Scary.)

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