Pregnancy: Week 17 and 18 – Operation Lactation

I’m just going to get right down to things, and give you the TMI update upfront. My milk has arrived. The mammary glands are a workin’ folks, and I’m leaking milk on a regular basis. Charming.

Last week, I was talking to a friend and said, “You know, I’m surprised my milk isn’t here yet. Before my first trimester was over with Moanna, I was waking up in the middle of the night soaking wet in a puddle of milk.”  Then I proceeded to give her the details. “One night, when I was just a few months pregnant with Moanna, Steve and I were laying in bed watching TV. I had my head on his shoulder and my arm and leg draped across him. At some point, we realized that both of our chests were soaking wet. At first, I thought ‘Great! Another hot flash has caused me to sweat all over myself and Steve.’ Upon further investigation we realized that sweat was not the problem. It was milk. I had leaked enough milk to soak through my shirt and Steve’s shirt and soak the bed. As far as I knew, I had never had such things happen before and I was mortified. Steve tried to play it cool, but I could tell that he thought I was from another planet. Every day after that I had similar episodes every night. I would wake up dripping wet. It was gross and sticky. After a certain point, I stopped sleeping in shirts. It wasn’t worth it to change shirts several times a night. I even had milk attacks during the day. Mammary glands are not sympathetic to any pregnant or breastfeeding woman’s pride. In the middle of class I would feel my bra get warm and wet, and in turn I would start to sweat perfusely and pray to the heavens above that class would end before the milk soaked through my bra entirely.”

The very next day, I was drying off after my shower and I felt my chest tingle and tighten in that milk is about to come spouting out of my nipples kind of way. There is really no way to describe it, but if you’ve ever given birth you know exactly what I’m talking about. Without thinking about it, I pushed on the sides of my  , and there it came. It was just a small amount, not the gushing amounts that I had gotten used to with Moanna. That too will come, just give it a week or a few.

In other TMI slash mortifying news, I pee when I sneeze. It doesn’t matter if I’m dehydrated and just went to the bathroom, if I pee then I sneeze. This wouldn’t be so horrible except for the fact that it’s allergy season and I’m sneezing oh every five minutes or so. We went for a walk last night, and I had to stop three times for sneezing-peeing fits.

After a lot of deep thought and contemplation, I realize this is why God wants us to be married before we have children. If you’re married, the father of your children can’t run for the hills when you soak him in breastmilk in the middle of the night or pee your pants on a date. I’m sure he CAN run, but he won’t because he knows that his wife will kill him when he gets the nerve to return. Instead, he has to man up and love you more because of the breast milk and pee.

On a not so embarrassing note, I am 100% feeling Deuce move. It’s still hit or miss, but I can usually count on a good nudging after I eat. Deuce enjoys nutrition. I have noticed that I get a lot more action from the kid when I’ve had something delicious and nutritious compared to when I eat sweets and junk.

Steve was even able to feel Deuce moving one evening. We were sitting on the couch, and Deuce was having a seriously good time so I told Steve to approach the bump. Steve placed his hand on my belly and Deuce put on a show. By the time Deuce tuckered out, my entire belly had changed shapes. Since that night, Steve hasn’t been able to feel a single poke.

A couple of times I’ve tried to get Moanna to feel Deuce, but she’s doesn’t have time for such nonsense. After a minute the other day, she said, “Maybe later. I am busy.” She has also claimed that she has felt the baby move, when she makes these claims I’m not feeling Deuce move. Soon enough she will feel Deuce move and KNOW it, and then I’ll never been able to get her little chocolaty fingers off the bump.

Week 16
Months 3 and 4
Month 2
Month 1
We’re Having a Baby!

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