Disturbed

I was sitting at the kitchen table and looked up to find this in my back yard…

Hitchcock was sitting in his director’s chair to the left of the picture. I couldn’t fit him and all of the birds in one picture. Who’s going to have nightmares tonight?

An Undesirable Reaction

In Atlanta, I am surrounded by people from all over the world and by people with all different kinds of lifestyles. It’s one of my favorite things about Atlanta. I have always loved people who not at all like I am. I will be bold and say that I am one of the most open and accepting individuals I know. As long as you are not causing pain or heart ache to others, I want you to be who you are and live life in a way that brings you happiness.

Now that you know this about me, listen to this story and tell me why on earth I had this kind of reaction.

When we moved here, we opened an account at the library. In order to do so, we had to show documentation that we lived in the Atlanta area. We showed them our lease, and they gave us library cards. We checked out a few books and went on our merry way.

A few weeks later, I went into the library to change my email address. I went to the front desk, and asked the guy who was working if he could help me. He appeared to be from Asia; what country exactly, I’m not sure. I am deeply embarrassed to say that I haven’t learned how to tell the difference between people who are Chinese, Japanese, Korean and so on.

The man behind the desk asked to see my driver’s license to verify my identity.

I showed him my VA driver’s license.

He looked at it, and said. “This is not from Georgia.”

I said, “I know. We just moved here and haven’t had time to change our license.”

He said, “Well, I need proof of  your residency.”

My immediate, and thank heavens internal, reaction was, “You need proof of my residency?! How about your residency? Are you even allowed to be in this country?”

My external reaction was, “We brought our lease in when we opened our account. If you need me to, I can go get it and come back.”

He said that wouldn’t be necessary, and he fixed my email address.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY did I react that way when he asked to verify my residency? He was very nice. He was doing his job. CLEARLY, he is here legally because he works for the library which is a government agency (or something). I am so upset with myself. Disgusted actually. It’s totally unacceptable. I have been the victim of discrimination (I’ll tell you about that later). I get profiled at the airport all the time. I have zero tolerance for people who are discriminating towards others. It fills me with rage. So why, why, why, WHY did I behave this way?

To Sum Things Up

This past week…

Moanna and I drove the eight hours to Virginia.

I went to one of my best friend’s baby shower.

I play for a couple of days at my old job and “helped” with a few events.

I stayed up late.

I spent time with and had Thanksgiving with my family.

I spent time with and had Thanksgiving with my second family.

I went to see the movie Tangled.

I spent time with and made apple butter with my Dad’s family.

I ate a lot of food.

I was woken up by a pack of coyotes outside my window, twice.

I exchanged my daughter for a car full of artifacts of my husband’s childhood.

I had a four hour dinner with my Maid-of-Honor and we invented her future husband.

I drove the twelve hours (twelve hours due to the above line) back to Georgia alone.

And, at about midnight I got home. After assessing the damaging my kitchen endured while I was away, I took Tylenol PM’s, went to bed and slept until noon. When I’m done recovering, I will piece my kitchen back together. It’s a total disaster, and it smells a little off. I’m going to begin by putting rubber gloves on, and end by throwing them away.

Parting Ways with My Shadow

Today Moanna and I are heading in different directions. She’s headed to Maryland and I’m headed back to Georgia. Moanna and I will be apart until the week of Christmas when I drive up to join her. Steve won’t arrive in Maryland for the holiday until Christmas day; someone’s gotta bring home the bacon. It’s going to be a long time without my shadow.

Hallelujah!

I am partially kidding. It’s going to be bitter sweet. I’m going to miss my shadow a lot, but…

You see, Moanna and I are still adjusting to spending 24/7 together. We have done pretty well, but I think all parties involved would agree that is time for a break. We’re getting on each other’s nerves. Plus Steve’s parents have not seen Moanna in a long time, and Baby Alexis is arriving in Maryland soon (Moanna is obsessed). There is much fun to be had in Maryland – more fun than there is to be had in Georgia over the next three weeks.

When we moved to Georgia we debated a long  time over whether we should bring Moanna with us and have her involved in the whole moving process, or if we should have her stay in Maryland for a few weeks while we settled in. We decided it would be best (less traumatizing) for Moanna to witness the whole moving process. I am confident that we made the right decision. However, there were a lot of things that I wasn’t able to do during the “settling in phase” with Moanna hot on my heels. Moanna is a helper. She wants to be involved in everything I’m doing which is fantastic, but unfortunately there are tasks that I can’t complete with her glued to my side. So, while Moanna is on vaca in Maryland, I am going to be tackling an ambitious to do list. Of course this list will be tackled after I bask in the glory of peeing and showering in peace and taking an uninterrupted nap.

My to-do list over the next three weeks looks something like this…

* Wash the shades and windows

* Unpack and organize the office

* Send Christmas cards

* Catch up on writing

* Shop for new bras (If you’ve ever tried to find a good fitting bra with a toddler for a shopping companion, you understand)

* Go to the DMV (do they call it that in Georgia?)

* Help with church events

* Finish Christmas shopping and wrap all presents

* Organize the cabinets under kitchen and bathroom sink

* Find a solution to toy organization

* Tackle the fake wood floors (fake wood floor should be against the law)

* Attempt to organize Steve’s business expenses for our taxes

* Load up the car and prepare for the 12 hour journey to Maryland

It’s going to be so lonely without my shadow, my little helper, but I am not going to lie. I am looking forward to the next three weeks. I know that Moanna is going to have a great time in Maryland with Steve’s parents, and they are going to have a great time with her; they’ve missed each other tons. I also know that having these three weeks to get this list knocked out is going to be a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I will be able to enjoy my time with Moanna so much more when I know that we are finally “settled in” and I don’t have pesky but necessary tasks hanging over my head. These three weeks are going to set the stage for a great 2011 for my shadow and me!

Christmas is Here

The other week my aunt, Auntie Jill, shared this video with me. I’ve been dying to share it with you ever since, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it until Thanksgiving was over. If you read this, you know how I feel about Christmas over shadowing Thanksgiving. Now, Thanksgiving has come and gone. We stuffed ourselves to the point that we had to change into stretchy pants, expressed gratitude for our bounty and now it’s time. Christmas is here.

Wasn’t that amazing? I know it’s an older video (by internet standards), but even if you’ve seen it before, you have to see it again to believe it.

A Note to the Young Ladies – Wear More Fabric

When you work in the food and beverage industry, you have the privilege of watching people celebrate life. It is one of the reasons that I love the business of food. Many of  these celebrations are milestones in one’s life  like birthdays, weddings, graduations, awards, anniversaries, promotions – you know,  the type of celebration where pictures are taken so the special day can be remembered years and generations to come.

This weekend I had the opportunity to make a cameo appearance where I used to work and help out with a special event. In a lot of ways it was very similar to many other events that are held each year. Family, friends and special someones have gathered together to celebrate a special occasion in their sons’ (or daughters’) life. Moms are glowing with love, dads are beaming with pride and the young ladies are wearing next to nothing. Gym bath towels cover more than many of the dresses I saw last night. These dresses were backless with plunging necklines and so short that they barely covered their rear ends.

Why ladies? Why do you give away everything you have before the date even starts? And why do you put it all out there for your boyfriend’s grandfather to see? Do you want to be remembered as “that girl friend who dressed like a prostitute”? What if you end up marrying this boy? Those pictures of your husband’s graduation where you are dressed like you are out to catch are going to haunt you for the rest of your life. Do you really want to fuel your in-laws’ fire that way? Are you trying to kill your father by wearing clothes that until now he has only seen in the movies?

Now, I am not much older than you, so please don’t take this as your mother denying you your right to flaunt what you have while you have it. I have dressed in saucy little numbers a time or two to parties and clubs. Despite my best efforts to purge the internet of incriminating photos, I am sure that if you dig deep enough you will find me dressed and behaving in ways that would make my family deny me. However, no matter how far you dig you will not find me dressed scandalously on special occasions.

When you get dressed, especially for a special occasions where family and pictures are involved, think about the message you are trying to send. I doubt you want the elders to get the message that you are hot in bed. No, you want to give the impression that you are attractive and confident. And if you are attending your boyfriend’s graduation, you want his parents to look at you and think “She is so great for him. If they end up getting married, she’ll fit in just fine with our family.” I promise that dress that is all strings and so short and tight that you are afraid that if you take a deep breath it’s going to pop right off is not saying “attractive and confident.” That dress is saying, “I’m sleazy and uncomfortable,” because let’s be honest no one is comfortable when they can’t breathe.

You want to give the attractive and confident message? Wear more fabric. It is possible to look sexy and classy all at the same time. If you want to show some skin, only show off one body part at a time. If you want to wear a strapless dress, then make sure the dress comes down at least to your knees. If your dress is shorter than the knee, then your chest should be hidden. If you want to show some cleavage then cover your shoulders. You get the idea. If the occasion is too conservative for skin (ie your grandparents’ 50th anniversary), then wear sassy little shoes. You would be surprised at how far a pair of shoes can take you. If shoes don’t do it for you, then spice up your outfit with jewelry; think dangling earrings and an elaborate necklace.

I know you have class and character. You are intelligent, charitable, savvy, creative, loving. You are also attractive, confident, sexy. You are rich with everything you have to offer to the world. Please don’t cheapen yourself by dressing like you are on the way to the Red Light District. Don’t give it all away the second someone lays eyes on you. Make someone get to know you before they form opinions and judgments about who you are. If you must wear something scandalous, then save it for the club where your elders can’t find you. Even then, we could all use a little more mystery in our lives, and that dress that is all strings and so short and tight that you are afraid that if you take a deep breath it’s going to pop right off leaves very little to the imagination. I’m not asking you to give up your right flaunt what you have while you have it. I’m just asking you to think about the message your clothes are sending. When you look back at your life and all of the pictures that have been taken along the way, you are going to see that you have made some poor decisions along the way. Out of all the things in life to feel pains of regret over, clothes shouldn’t be one of them. So please, wear more fabric so that when you find the pictures of your husband’s graduation you think, “What a great day that was,” not, “I look like a hussy! It’s no wonder my mother-in-law has never liked me.”

Social Sunday

Moanna and I made it to Virginia, and we’re off and running. After the long drive hangover wears off, our day is jam packed. There are baby showers, and dinner parties, and grand balls, oh my! I am so excited to spend the day hanging out with old friends and eating good food. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those days that creates stories that are told for decades. Don’t wait up. I’ll be home late.

Get it? Social Butterfly. Ha-ha.