Now Mo Knows Her ABC’s

Ladies and gents, I am proud to announce that Moanna has mastered the alphabet. I almost said “finally mastered” but to be fair she’s only 3 and it is perfectly normal for children her age not to know her ABC’s. Most of the time, I’m very “Children learn at their own pace. We adults make children learn to much too early instead of allowing them to use their imagination and following their curiosity.” However, this alphabet thing was getting under my skin. Why? Because since the beginning of time she has known the entire alphabet minus one letter.

J

For at least the past six months Moanna has tortured us with the alphabet song repetitively. We would hear the entire alphabet, minus J, a couple dozen times a day. It was like having the same song on repeat all-the-live-long-day, and that song would skip every single time in the exact same spot.

I have a theory. I think that Mo was a bit wigged out by the fact that there was a letter J because she has a Grandpa Jai. Why on earth would Grandpa Jai be in the alphabet? That’s just crazy talk! A B C D E F G H I K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y X. See there is no J in that alphabet.

We tried countless ways to get the letter J back in the alphabet where it belonged. We would have her repeat every letter after us. We would jump when we got to the letter J. We would clap when we got to letter J. We showed her in books and on pictures. We would sing it with her and say J really loud when it was time for J. We would have her listen to us sing the alphabet. Nothing worked. We looked like monkeys in the circus trying to get her to put J back where it belonged. When ever would correct her, she would smile at us and start over and sing the alphabet right on through minus J and look at us like we were nuts for thinking she was wrong.

I was folding laundry (OK I can’t remember what exactly I was doing but it was something domestic) one day last week and Moanna came in looking very proud of herself and said, “Listen to this! A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. Now I know my ABC’s. Next time won’t you sing with me?” My jaw hit the floor. We called Daddy right away so she could sing to him. He too was very proud.

After the celebration wore off, I realized who taught her where J went. It wasn’t Steve or I, or anyone else doing animal tricks. It was a magnet. Her alphabet singing, letter pronouncing magnet. I had been listening to that magnet all morning long. When I say all morning long, I mean all gosh darn morning long. While I was unloading the dishwasher, cooking breakfast, making lunch, loading the dishwasher, sweeping the floors, making the beds, going to the bathroom, unpacking boxes, Moanna was standing in front of the fridge hitting that button over and over and over and over and OVER again.

Moanna has been repetitiously chanting the alphabet nonstop, even more so than before we found J, at ear piercing volumes. I am proud, and hard of hearing.

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