Pilgrimage to The Pioneer Woman

Like so many of you out there, I fell in love with Ree the minute I happened to find myself on her blog. There is something about the woman that draws you to her. Maybe it’s the food, maybe it’s her smile, perhaps it’s the ranch – I don’t know. I’m sure the fact that she’s always so humble and sweet, even when she’s being brutally honest, has something to do with it.

As soon as her book was published, I began searching the country side to find a copy. Every book store I went in was sold out. I searched for months.

You may ask, why didn’t you just buy it online?

Well, I’ll tell you why. If I were to buy it online, it would open up the gate of online shopping. I exercise great discipline and only shop on rare (very rare) occasions. The fact that our tiny town has no where to shop really helps me stay out of shopping trouble. When I was in college there was a mall right down the road, and it was bad news. If I were to shop online, even for a book I desperately want, it would lead to another purchase, and another, and another and before I knew it, it be like having a mall right down the road again.  Nothing but trouble could come of it. I would turn into one of those shopacholics featured on Oprah. And while I would love to be on Oprah one day, I don’t want it to be because I have shopping issues.

Let’s refocus…

What I didn’t know was that while I was popping into every bookstore that crossed my path, my husband had secretly ordered it online for me as a surprise. Isn’t he sweet?

Here I am with my new cook book. My two-year-old took that photo. Isn’t Moanna good with a camera? (On another note – Man I look rough! Please forgive me, I had just worked 80 hours in the past six days.)

What he didn’t know was that not two hours before giving me the book, my friend Beth (also madly in love with Ree) and I had been plotting a trip to DC for Ree’s book signing. I kid you not. Beth and I had just finished a conversation online about how we wanted to take a road trip to DC for the book signing. We even talked about taking a scenic route so that Beth could take landscape photos to add to her portfolio.

It was meat to be.

The day before the book signing, Beth drove five hours up to Lexington from Knoxville, TN. Isn’t she a trooper?

To my horror, I woke up the morning of our adventure with a giant zit on my forehead! Hello prom and wedding nightmare, thank you for popping up in my life today.

Stop staring at it! Geez…

Still partially asleep, we began our journey at 8:00AM. We headed up the mountain to the Blue Ridge Parkway and went north. It was a gorgeous day for a drive. It was sunny, the mountains were green and lush, it was breezy. As a hiker we came across said, “It’s a great day to be on the Parkway.”

We were both soaking up our freedom. Beth had just resigned from her job. I was tickled that had two days in a row off from work, and no one take to cake of. We had no responsibilities for the next two days. It was going to be fantastic. We were so excited for our trip that we forgot to pack some necessities. It’s a good thing it was only a short trip because we wouldn’t have made it if it were a serious road trip.

List of things to bring on our next road trip

1. Bug spray
2. Umbrella to block the sun when you’re adjusting settings on the camera
3. Food
4. Water
5. Cash to buy food and water from vending machines because you forgot to pack food
6. Binoculars
7. Phone charger
8. GPS

Again, we need to refocus…

There was a lot of this…

There was also a lot of this…

There was also a great deal of this…

And this… (Don’t worry, Beth was fully aware going into this that she would be making cameo appearances on my blog.)

After eight hours of pictures, girl talk and driving at 40 MPH on the Parkway/ Skyline Drive we arrived at the Boarders in Fairfax. Our plan was to eat dinner and then go to the book signing. Just to scope things out, I peeked into Boarders for a quick glance to see how things would work for the signing. Boy, am I glad I did that!

F.Y.I. getting to Ree’s book signing two hours early is not early. There were already several dozen ladies there waiting for 6:00PM to arrive. All of the seats were taken, and people were standing around waiting. If we didn’t soon join the crowd, we would be listening to her speak from the sidewalk.

Much to our stomachs’ dismay we had to push dinner back until after the signing. We quickly changed clothes in the bathroom of Chipotle and went to wait in line.

It’s amazing how waiting in line for something suddenly changes your outlook on life. The entire time we were in the car, Beth and I had plenty to talk about. The minute we started standing in line and waiting, we were silent and irritable.

Ree’s posts recapping her signings ring true. The woman can bring out babies and pregnant women by the dozens. They were every where – herds of them. There were even a few husbands there. I bet they were there to earn brownie points.

Finally 6:00PM came, and out came Ree.

See how far away we were? In book signing world, this was the nosebleed section. Those binoculars would have come in handy right about now – that and stiletto heels.

Of course, she started by taking a few pictures of the crowd. Then she thanked us all for being there, and answered a few questions.

In case you were wondering…

Her favorite thing to blog about is Charlie.

Josh cut part of his finger off.

It took Marlboro Man four months to call her because the night he got her phone number he was still dating someone.

And, AND, I quote, “Calf nuts unite us.”

Isn’t she a doll?

It was clear that the person she is on her blog, is the person she really is.

After answering a few questions, she started signing books, so we had to wait some more.

We were getting hungrier by the minute (that food we didn’t pack sure would have come in handy), and I’ll admit, quite whiny. We felt like complete pansies because all of the cute pregnant ladies around us were holding up just fine. They were champs. So were the babies.

Towards the end of our wait, we met the girl standing in front of us. She sheepishly admitted that she had drove all the way from Lexington, VA to meet Ree. Beth and I found great comfort in this. We assured her that she was not alone, and that we too felt like stalkers for taking off of work and making the drive.

As we got to the front of the line, Beth and I confessed to each other that we were getting nervous. What on Earth do you say to this lovely lady? If you’re too low-key, it sounds like you’re not happy that she’s there to sign your book. If you’re too excited, then it may come off as creepy. It really is a double edged sword.

FINALLY! It was our turn.

Beth told Ree that she came all the way from Knoxville, TN to meet her.

No joke, Ree’s response was pure shock, “For this!?”

Beth: “Yes.”

Ree: “Gosh. I sure hope you have something else planned!”

Beth: “Well, we’re visiting people up here and we took the Parkway to take pictures.”

Me: “Yeah. We made it into a road trip.”

Ree: “Well have fun girls. Wear your seat belts.”

I have no idea why, but I think it’s so cute that she told us to wear our seat belts. I also loved how she was shocked at the journey we (Beth especially) made to see her. It’s that whole sweet and humble thing that makes people love her.

Look at us! There we are. (Ugh look at how awkward I am with my butt sticking out. Years of taking sassy girls’ night out pictures will haunt me for the rest of my life.)

And there it is… My book with Ree’s signature. If Moanna eats this book or colors in it I will cry.

After the signing Beth and I bolted to Chipotle to inhale a lot of food. I don’t think we even chewed. It was delicious.

My predictions for who will appear in Ree’s recap post of her DC signing…

1. The beautiful tall mother-daughter couple with the short curly hair
2. The lady that came dressed in her fatigues
3. The baby dressed like a cow boy
4. The girls wearing “I Heart PW” shirts
5. Someone who’s pregnant

(In case there is any confusion, all pictures in this post were taken by me with my crappy point and shoot. Beth is a fantastic photographer and has a monstrous camera. I’m jealous beyond words.)

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