Celiac Disease: Turns Out, I’ve Been Poisoning My Husband

One of the times my husband loves me most is when I cook for him. He thinks I’m amazing in the kitchen. I think he’s amazing for playing along and pretending that everything I cook came straight out of a five star restaurant.

Little did we know, I was poisoning my husband on a daily basis.  Every time I made him Greek pasta, homemade pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, quesadillas or chicken cordon bleu to name a few, I was slowly killing him – a slow, painfully, declisous death.

Back in January/February, after Steve had been eating PB&J twice a day everyday while on the road (trying to save money) for work, he broke out in rashes that continued to get worse and worse. His knees, elbows and back were the worst. He was miserable.

He had these rashes in the past, but never this serious. The would randomly come and go. About a year ago he was getting irritated with the constant itching and not being able to sleep at night, so he went to the doctor. The doctor prescribed some hefty cream and determined that it was Eczema.

One night in February, Steve called me from Miami one night completely infuriated. He had had up to his chin (literally) with the rashes and something had to give. He was threatening to spend the rest of his life in the ocean in hopes that the salt would dry up the rashes.

Having no idea what to do, I Googled the issue.

I know that self diagnosing on the Internet is dangerous. No matter what you search for it’s going to tell you that  you’re pregnant, or that you are going to die from some life threatening disease that only patients on House are infected with.

Knowing very well that Google could tell me that my husband would only have minutes to live if I searched for his rash on the Internet, I threw caution to the wind and clicked the search button.

Google said Celiac Disease. I have searched for all kinds of bizarre things on the Internet, and never once had it come back at Celiac Disease. Kind of amazing since the list of symptoms for Celiac Disease includes every symptom known to man. With my chronic pain and exhaustion, who knows, I could have it too.

The more I read, the more it made sense. The location and appearance of the rashes matched. Some of the other symptoms matched up with things Steve has complained about in the past. Also, his rash began to appear shortly after the PB&J marathon began.

As soon as Steve returned from Miami he went to the doctor to be tested. Naturally, the doctor looked at Steve sideways when he told him what we thought the problem was. He looked even more skeptical when Steve told him I found it on the internet. Can’t blame the doctor for his disbelief. He probably wouldn’t have been shocked if Steve told him that Google said he was pregnant.

A few days later the blood test came back positive for Celiac Disease. On one hand, we were trilled that we had answers, and that the internet doesn’t always lie. However, on the other hand we knew that meant a complete lifestyle change.

Celiac Disease is basically an allergy or intolerance to gluten. Gluten is found in breads, pastas, baked goods, frozen foods, almost anything processed. Wheat, barley rye and modified food starch are some of the most prevalent ingredients containing gluten. The complete list is about a mile long. Modified food starch is the tricky one. It’s in everything: frozen French fries, taco seasoning, salad dressing, ice cream, potato chips, frozen vegetables, everything.

Steve has had to eliminate a lot of his favorite foods (pasta, pizza, cookies). I  have changed the way I shop and cook. We have to be very diligent and plan ahead when going out to eat, on vacation or to a friend’s for dinner. When the Holidays come, Steve isn’t going to be able to eat many of the traditional foods.

A few days after the blood test confirmed what we already assumed to be true, I had an emotional meltdown in the grocery store. Everything I thought was safe, had some hidden unnecessary form of gluten in it. When I found the teeny-tiny shelf of gluten free foods I nearly fell in the floor. $3.00 for 8oz of rice pasta. $3.00! Not only do I have to change the way I cook and shop, but my grocery bill is going to triple.

I really shouldn’t complain. I’m not the one who has had to give up the foods they love, or eat really crappy alternates to pizza and pasta. I just can’t believe that all this time I’ve been poisoning my husband when I thought I was being a good little wife cooking my him the foods he loves.

A Year Ago Today

Today, May 23, is our very first wedding anniversary! At midnight my very cute husband called me at work to tell me “Happy Anniversary.” I wish I could tell you that we’ve been celebrating all day, but that would be a lie. Steve is working in Georgia this weekend, and so the presents and the celebrating will have to come later.

Photo by Beth Bowman

A year ago today, we gathered at the Concord Point Lighthouse in Havre De Grace, Maryland to get hitched. The weather was perfect, and thank the stars because our rain plan was if it rains, we get wet.

Photo by Beth Bowman

Here’s a fun story that the beautiful pictures of our wedding day missed…

While my bridesmaids and I were waiting for the limo to pick us up and take us to the ceremony, we decided it was important for us all to pee. The only place that might have a public restroom was this dingy little “Save-a-lot” type grocery store. When we walked in the store everyone, ev-a-ry-one, froze and stared at us.

“Excuse me, can we use your restroom?”

“It’s for employees only. Are you getting married today?”

“Nope! I tend to over dress for a day at the shore, and these weirdos always plan their outfits.” If that wasn’t a “Here’s your sign” moment, I don’t what is.

“Bathroom is in the back.”

Every single one of us squeezed into the bathroom at once. We all took turn peeing, except for one bridesmaid who claimed to have a nervous bladder.

While we were in the bathroom we realized that the string from my lace-up back was so long that I might trip on it going down the isle. So, when we got back to the register we asked for a pair of scissors. I want to say that they didn’t have scissors, and we ended up cutting the string with a box opener. I’m not sure, I wasn’t the one down there sawing off the string. I was standing there with my dress hiked up to my chin while the local folk and employees gawked at me and the four girls dressed in purple examining my crotch.

Before we left the decrepit store and returned to the perfect sun shinny weather, we paid for a box of Tic-Tacs in what must have been pennies because the woman rolled her eyes as one of my bridesmaids counted out the change. I had spotted the Tic-Tacs when we were cutting off my tail, and determined that I wouldn’t’ be able to make it to my vows without them.

And we wall lived happily ever after.

The End.

Maybe next year, I will tell you about how my maid-of-honor was so busy making sure I was put together that she forgot to wear underwear. No joke. We were driving to the wedding site, and she goes, “I totally forgot to put on underwear!”

Oops! Well don’t worry, I have plenty of untold stories about my maid-of-honor on my wedding day to save for next year.

OK, one more story…

One of the last things I said to Steve before we parted ways at the rehearsal dinner was, “Wear sunscreen. There is a bottle of it in the basket of stuff I gave you earlier today.”

Well, he didn’t hear me, and he didn’t wear sunscreen -none of the guys did. His forehead was burnt to a crisp by the time we checked into Pier 5. I thought he was going to cry while putting hotel lotion on his neon pink forehead.

“I told you last night to wear sunscreen.”

“Ohhhhh that’s what you said when we were saying goodbye.”

“Yeah… It was kind of important information.”

“Well no kidding! I was too excited to hear anything other than ‘I love you.’”

“Aw that’s sweet. And, now, you look like a lobster.”

Steve took this picture of us sitting outside our hotel at the Inner Harbor as the sunset on our wedding day. Notice how burnt his forehead is.

She’s Back

Moanna came home today!

Moanna called me today on her way home from Maryland to let me know what time she would be home. More importantly, she called to tell me what we would be doing when she got home.

“Mommy! When I get home I’m going to talk to you for a long time about what I did with Grandma and Grandpa. Then, we’re running to the park.”

And that, my friend,  is exactly what we did.

A New Liver: A Second Chance at Life, Again

Just over a month ago I told you that my Dad had been listed for a second liver transplant. If you want to revisit that post, or a new here, you can follow the link below.
Liver 4 Lightner – Round Two
__________

It was about 9:45PM when the phone rang. It was my Dad.

“Hello.”

“Renee?”

“Hi.”

“Hi Honey. How are you doing?”

“Not bad.”

“I didn’t wake you up did I?”

“Nope. Just watching TV.”

“Oh OK. What are Steve and Mo up to?”

“Steve is in Arizona for training, and Mo is in Maryland.”

“Oh, so you’re alone for a few days.”

“Yep.”

“Do you miss Steve.”

“Yea. Sometimes, but it’s part of his job.”

“Well, I’m back at Duke again.”

My heart sank really low for a minute. I immediately went to dark places of bad news. “Oh yea?”

“Yea. They might have a liver for me.”

Heart picks back up. “That’s exciting news!”

“Yea. It really is. We don’t know 100% yet, but they called us around lunch time to come in. We drove in from Tennessee after packing a few things and closing up the house. I’ve had a lot of tests done, and now we’re just waiting. I guess we’ll know when they start cutting on me.”

“Yea. That would be a pretty good indication that it’s a go.”

Half an hour later, we hung up the phone. That’s when it dawned on me. I was home alone. All by myself. This is a really crappy time for my husband to be on the other side of the country.

I got into bed and began praying… Dear Heavenly Father, I know that Your will, will be done. However, this is what I hope Your will is. I really want this liver to be the one, and I really want it to work. Please don’t make my Dad and Janet have to turn around and go home. They’ve done it once before and it’s a really hard position to be in. It’s hard enough to pray for someone to die so you can continue to live, but when you make the journey just to find out that you will not be getting a second chance that day is a bit tormenting. Someone sicker was able to accept the organ. I know they are thankful that the sicker person was given a chance to live last time around, but I know it was a roller coaster for them, so I would rather that they not have to go through that again. Please be with my Dad tonight. I know he is excited and probably a little scared. Please watch over the transplant team. Guide them to do the best job possible. I know surgery is going to last all night so please keep them alert. Please keep Janet company tonight. She’s going to need to lean on you tonight. Please be with the family that is mourning the loss of a loved one. Know that I am incessantly thankful for the opportunity this person has given my Dad and others by being so selfless and donating their organs. Please give them a big hug from me when you see them. Please let everything be OK, I’m all alone… I fell asleep praying.

I fell asleep at about the same time my Dad’s surgery began. I had very bizarre dreams all night long. I think I prayed all night as I slept because when I woke up, I was still praying.

When I woke up Friday morning, I hadn’t hard anything new. Janet had not sent an email update since surgery began.

I got myself ready and went to work.

At about 9:30 Janet sent an email saying that my Dad was out of surgery. The email said that the surgeon was very pleased with the transplant, and that he was doing well in recovery. I think it was the first time I exhaled in 12 hours.

Later that night Janet sent another update saying my Dad was alert and recovering well. His pre surgery labs and post surgery labs showed that the new liver was already working and cleansing his body.

Saturday afternoon my Dad called. He was a little looped from all the pain medications, but other than that he was in a state of elation and gratitude. Minus the pain from surgery, he felt great. He told me he was trying to talk the nurses into letting him walk and eat. He said he can already feel a difference inside his body, and his ready to get up and move forward with his life.

This is a complete 180 compared to his last transplant. The last time he was on the donor list for what seemed like a life time, and he grew very sick. About a day after his last transplant he was knocked back out, and stayed out for about two weeks (from what my memory tells me). His kidneys shut down. He was in unimaginable pain. The liver didn’t wake up. He couldn’t keep food down. It was very scary.

We are aware that there can be setbacks (setbacks are part of the natural transplant process), but we are all ecstatic with how smoothly things are going. There is still a long recovery ahead, and it has to be taken one foot in front of the other.

We must remember that while we are celebrating, there is a family who is missing their loved one. We haven’t learned much about the donor. We know that the surgeon had to fly out of state to go get the liver, and that it was a younger person. Please, please pray for this family.

__________

Part of the transplant process is that the family is required to fund raise $10,000 to help cover the cost of recovery, rehabilitation and the large number of medications. He and his wife will also have to rent an apartment close to Duke during his recovery. Now that he has had his transplant (thank you Lord), the need to raise money has become urgent. In order for him to recover successfully, and with minimal stress to him and his wife, it is important to have these finances in place so that no step in the process is delayed waiting on money.

I am asking for your help. No amount is too small! I know times are tight right now, but if you have an extra dollar or $10, $20, $100 or more, it will make a huge difference in reaching the $10,000 we need.

I have setup a PayPal account dedicated to his fund raising. You may also donate by sending checks.

*To donate through PayPal: Please send money to liver4lightner@yahoo.com
*If you would like to donate by check please email me at liver4lightner@yahoo.com, and I will give you the information

Most importantly we ask for your prayers. Nothing can replace those! Pray for my Dad, pray for the amazing team taking care of him at Duke, pray for his wife who is handling this beautifully, pray for a fast and speedy recovery, pray for the donor and his/her family.

Thank you all for your love and support! You too are in our thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Renee

A Cocktail of Emotions

Every few months this dark cloud settles in over Moanna’s room. It feels like the weight of a thousand elephants are trampling on my chest when I enter her room. I go through five gazillion emotions as Moanna’s dresser stares at me with it’s beady eyes. There are few chores that I loathe more than going through Moanna’s cloths. I feel nauseous with anxiety just thinking about it. It’s a job that I do not feel qualified for.

For one thing, I have to decide what still passes as “fits” and what qualifies as torture if I continue to shove the poor girl into it. I know the t-shirt that shows her belly even with her pants pulled up to her arm pits probably needs to go, but it’s too darn cute. Plus if that shirt is too small, it means she’s not a baby anymore. I can’t handle that kind of stress in my life right now.

Then, I come across a few outfits that I don’t like and  I am ecstatic that they no longer “fit.” Technically she can still wear them, but only for a few more months, so clearly the should go. Do you know what this means? This means my baby is growing up to be such a big girl!

Things are going great, until I dig really deep and find the most precious outfit that still has the tags on it. Of course it doesn’t fit because it’s been in the back of her closet since before she was born. I can’t believe that she grew too fast, and I never got to dress her up in this. How could I forget we had this outfit? I feel so low and lousy when I come across a dress that someone gave to Moanna and she never got to wear it because I didn’t remember it existed?

After I’ve gone through all of the clothes and decided what “fits” and what doesn’t, I have to decide what should be kept for potentional future daughters, and what should be sold or pitched. What should I save? What should I pitch?  What if we don’t have any more girls? What if by the time we have girls this outfit is obsolete? What if I save all of this stuff, and mice and moths get into it? Where do I store all of the clothes I decide to save? There is no right answer.

Save me!

Moanna is in Maryland for a few weeks having a grand time with her Grandparents which means it’s a perfect time to sort through her clothes. It’s also been more than six months since I suffered a bout of bipolar emotions over a basket of laundry. Oh, and, it’s almost her birthday which means if I don’t go through her clothes, I’ll have to buy her a second dresser to hold them all and that’s just not in the budget (Momma needs a new camera). While Moanna is out gallivanting and taking gymnastics classes (she’s going to come home so grown up and doing vaults over the couch), I’m going to be popping Xanax and breathing into a paper bag.

Can you help me? How do you decide what still “fits” and what doesn’t? How do you decide what to keep and what to get rid of? How do you store the items you decide to keep? How do you sleep at night? If you don’t have any solutions, can you at least come talk to me and keep me distracted from the pain I’m going to be facing this evening?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go lie down and cry myself to sleep.

Look at her go!

She’s so big! There is no way any of her clothes are going to fit by the time she gets home.

Hold me.

Pilgrimage to The Pioneer Woman

Like so many of you out there, I fell in love with Ree the minute I happened to find myself on her blog. There is something about the woman that draws you to her. Maybe it’s the food, maybe it’s her smile, perhaps it’s the ranch – I don’t know. I’m sure the fact that she’s always so humble and sweet, even when she’s being brutally honest, has something to do with it.

As soon as her book was published, I began searching the country side to find a copy. Every book store I went in was sold out. I searched for months.

You may ask, why didn’t you just buy it online?

Well, I’ll tell you why. If I were to buy it online, it would open up the gate of online shopping. I exercise great discipline and only shop on rare (very rare) occasions. The fact that our tiny town has no where to shop really helps me stay out of shopping trouble. When I was in college there was a mall right down the road, and it was bad news. If I were to shop online, even for a book I desperately want, it would lead to another purchase, and another, and another and before I knew it, it be like having a mall right down the road again.  Nothing but trouble could come of it. I would turn into one of those shopacholics featured on Oprah. And while I would love to be on Oprah one day, I don’t want it to be because I have shopping issues.

Let’s refocus…

What I didn’t know was that while I was popping into every bookstore that crossed my path, my husband had secretly ordered it online for me as a surprise. Isn’t he sweet?

Here I am with my new cook book. My two-year-old took that photo. Isn’t Moanna good with a camera? (On another note – Man I look rough! Please forgive me, I had just worked 80 hours in the past six days.)

What he didn’t know was that not two hours before giving me the book, my friend Beth (also madly in love with Ree) and I had been plotting a trip to DC for Ree’s book signing. I kid you not. Beth and I had just finished a conversation online about how we wanted to take a road trip to DC for the book signing. We even talked about taking a scenic route so that Beth could take landscape photos to add to her portfolio.

It was meat to be.

The day before the book signing, Beth drove five hours up to Lexington from Knoxville, TN. Isn’t she a trooper?

To my horror, I woke up the morning of our adventure with a giant zit on my forehead! Hello prom and wedding nightmare, thank you for popping up in my life today.

Stop staring at it! Geez…

Still partially asleep, we began our journey at 8:00AM. We headed up the mountain to the Blue Ridge Parkway and went north. It was a gorgeous day for a drive. It was sunny, the mountains were green and lush, it was breezy. As a hiker we came across said, “It’s a great day to be on the Parkway.”

We were both soaking up our freedom. Beth had just resigned from her job. I was tickled that had two days in a row off from work, and no one take to cake of. We had no responsibilities for the next two days. It was going to be fantastic. We were so excited for our trip that we forgot to pack some necessities. It’s a good thing it was only a short trip because we wouldn’t have made it if it were a serious road trip.

List of things to bring on our next road trip

1. Bug spray
2. Umbrella to block the sun when you’re adjusting settings on the camera
3. Food
4. Water
5. Cash to buy food and water from vending machines because you forgot to pack food
6. Binoculars
7. Phone charger
8. GPS

Again, we need to refocus…

There was a lot of this…

There was also a lot of this…

There was also a great deal of this…

And this… (Don’t worry, Beth was fully aware going into this that she would be making cameo appearances on my blog.)

After eight hours of pictures, girl talk and driving at 40 MPH on the Parkway/ Skyline Drive we arrived at the Boarders in Fairfax. Our plan was to eat dinner and then go to the book signing. Just to scope things out, I peeked into Boarders for a quick glance to see how things would work for the signing. Boy, am I glad I did that!

F.Y.I. getting to Ree’s book signing two hours early is not early. There were already several dozen ladies there waiting for 6:00PM to arrive. All of the seats were taken, and people were standing around waiting. If we didn’t soon join the crowd, we would be listening to her speak from the sidewalk.

Much to our stomachs’ dismay we had to push dinner back until after the signing. We quickly changed clothes in the bathroom of Chipotle and went to wait in line.

It’s amazing how waiting in line for something suddenly changes your outlook on life. The entire time we were in the car, Beth and I had plenty to talk about. The minute we started standing in line and waiting, we were silent and irritable.

Ree’s posts recapping her signings ring true. The woman can bring out babies and pregnant women by the dozens. They were every where – herds of them. There were even a few husbands there. I bet they were there to earn brownie points.

Finally 6:00PM came, and out came Ree.

See how far away we were? In book signing world, this was the nosebleed section. Those binoculars would have come in handy right about now – that and stiletto heels.

Of course, she started by taking a few pictures of the crowd. Then she thanked us all for being there, and answered a few questions.

In case you were wondering…

Her favorite thing to blog about is Charlie.

Josh cut part of his finger off.

It took Marlboro Man four months to call her because the night he got her phone number he was still dating someone.

And, AND, I quote, “Calf nuts unite us.”

Isn’t she a doll?

It was clear that the person she is on her blog, is the person she really is.

After answering a few questions, she started signing books, so we had to wait some more.

We were getting hungrier by the minute (that food we didn’t pack sure would have come in handy), and I’ll admit, quite whiny. We felt like complete pansies because all of the cute pregnant ladies around us were holding up just fine. They were champs. So were the babies.

Towards the end of our wait, we met the girl standing in front of us. She sheepishly admitted that she had drove all the way from Lexington, VA to meet Ree. Beth and I found great comfort in this. We assured her that she was not alone, and that we too felt like stalkers for taking off of work and making the drive.

As we got to the front of the line, Beth and I confessed to each other that we were getting nervous. What on Earth do you say to this lovely lady? If you’re too low-key, it sounds like you’re not happy that she’s there to sign your book. If you’re too excited, then it may come off as creepy. It really is a double edged sword.

FINALLY! It was our turn.

Beth told Ree that she came all the way from Knoxville, TN to meet her.

No joke, Ree’s response was pure shock, “For this!?”

Beth: “Yes.”

Ree: “Gosh. I sure hope you have something else planned!”

Beth: “Well, we’re visiting people up here and we took the Parkway to take pictures.”

Me: “Yeah. We made it into a road trip.”

Ree: “Well have fun girls. Wear your seat belts.”

I have no idea why, but I think it’s so cute that she told us to wear our seat belts. I also loved how she was shocked at the journey we (Beth especially) made to see her. It’s that whole sweet and humble thing that makes people love her.

Look at us! There we are. (Ugh look at how awkward I am with my butt sticking out. Years of taking sassy girls’ night out pictures will haunt me for the rest of my life.)

And there it is… My book with Ree’s signature. If Moanna eats this book or colors in it I will cry.

After the signing Beth and I bolted to Chipotle to inhale a lot of food. I don’t think we even chewed. It was delicious.

My predictions for who will appear in Ree’s recap post of her DC signing…

1. The beautiful tall mother-daughter couple with the short curly hair
2. The lady that came dressed in her fatigues
3. The baby dressed like a cow boy
4. The girls wearing “I Heart PW” shirts
5. Someone who’s pregnant

(In case there is any confusion, all pictures in this post were taken by me with my crappy point and shoot. Beth is a fantastic photographer and has a monstrous camera. I’m jealous beyond words.)

The Smoking Tree

Friday, I was sitting in my car before work having a moment – praying, jamming, procrastinating. I had spring fever like you would not believe. I was ready to skip school, I mean work, and head to the river. For the record, I never skipped school. I mean, I did, but my mom always knew about it.

“Mom, a group of us are skipping school tomorrow to go to the falls.”

“That sounds fun. Wear sunscreen.”

So, anyway. I was sitting in my car looking at this…

(Wasn’t it a gorgeous day?)

When I saw a few puffs of smoke rise up. What on Earth? Who is standing on the bank smoking?

I looked for the alleged smoker, and found no one.

Then I saw more puffs of smoke. Where is this coming from? Is something on fire? I don’t smell smoke.

Then I saw more and more of this smoke. It looked exactly like puffs of smoke that are given off when someone is smoking a cigarette.

Finally, I saw it! The puffs of smoke were coming from the tree, but it wasn’t smoke. It was pollen. Little puffs of pollen were being omitted from the pods on the tree.

Never in my life have I seen this before. Does National Geographic know about this?  What about The Discovery Channel? Craziest thing I have seen in a long time. By far, one of the coolest things in nature I’ve ever witnessed.

I had no idea that you could actually SEE pollen being given off by a tree. I thought it sprinkled down so sparingly that the naked eye could not see it. It appeared on your car in the same magic fashion that dew does. You can watch for dew to form all night long, and you’ll never see it happen. One minute, there’s nothing. And then, in a blink of an eye, it’s there. Trust me, I know. I’ve tried to witness this phenomenon.

When I finally could pull myself away from this glorious act of reproduction, I went to the office to drag someone else outside to share this experience. Turns out, other people who have been around the block a few more times than I have, knew of this magic and were not impressed by my findings. If they know, National Geographic and The Discovery Channel must know.

Just in case this wasn’t included in the Life series, I shot my own video. This is something you cannot go your entire life without seeing!

Unfortunaely, I couldn’t get Oprah to do the narration, so you’ll have to deal with my obnoxious vocie and the sounds of construction in the back ground.

P.S. It’s very subtle, so you may have to watch it a few times before you pick up on it.

Wasn’t that amazing?

Can’t you feel your allergies going nuts?