Valentine’s Day – Yes, This is How I Really Feel
Valentine’s Day, hand down, is my least favorite holiday of the year. I loathe the holiday. I didn’t always have such a poor opinion of the day, it grew over time. No, I didn’t have a boy crush my Valentine’s Day dreams. My hatred for the holiday developed because I waited tables for several years on Valentine’s Day. No, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was missing out on hot dates because I was working. I just want to be clear that my distaste, OK disdain, for the holiday has nothing to do with boys. It’s purely professional.
I double, dog dare my husband to take me out to eat on Valentine’s Day. If he ever had the audacity to do such a thing, he may find himself at the point-proving single guys’ table (I’ll get to that in a minute). I dare him to even utter the words, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” If he’s smart, he’ll pretend the holiday doesn’t exists.
One might think that working on Valentine’s Day as a server is excellent because the money is good. You could not be more wrong. People who never, I mean never, go out to eat, go out on Valentine’s Day. These people do not how to behave in a restaurant, and they certainly do not know how to tip. In case you were stuck in the 19 I don’t know what’s, 10% is NOT an acceptable tip. You are lucky if you bring home 10% on Valentine’s Day, and that is before you tip out the hostess and busboy.
Not only do these people not know how to tip, they don’t have patience, and they don’t know how to order a steak. Do not get sassy with me because it took me a whole 30 seconds to get to your table after the hostess seated you. I am so very sorry for that unacceptable delay in service, but the table behind you was complaining because their steak was under cooked. When in fact, their steak was cooked to medium rare perfection. They just don’t know that medium rare means ‘warm red center.’ Don’t worry, you’re going to complain that your steak took too long and is tough because you asked for it to be cooked ‘exter, exter well,’ – not extra well, but ‘exter, exter well.’ I hate to tell you this, but it’s going to take longer for your steak to cook to ‘exter, exter well’ and ‘exter, exter well’ steak is tough, especially when you expect it to cook in less than five minutes.
In addition to the poor tip and steak battle, half of the couples are miserable. A lot of them have horrible relationships, and are being drug out in public against their will. You can see it in their eyes. The relationship died a long time ago, but they’re too comfortable or too scared to leave. Valentine’s Day is just a slap in the face reminder of what their relationship isn’t.
On occasion you do come across couples that really do love each other, but the poor things can’t find and/or afford a babysitter, so they’re stuck bringing the kids out for date night. It’s probably the only date they get a year, and they have to spend it in an over crowded restaurant with the reason they never get to go out on a date – the two kids that are screaming at the top of their lungs, jumping on the booth seat, and rubbing ketchup in their hair. I feel for this couple. They need a hug. They also need to be reminded that just because their kids got to eat for free, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a real tip. After all, I’m going to have to scrub the ketchup off this table when you leave. While I am cleaning up after your bundles of joy, that table over there is fuming because their “exter, exter well’ steak isn’t ready, and the couple that knows how to leave a real tip was seated in someone else’s section because it took me forever to get the ketchup off the table AND the seat.
Then there are the tables of barely dressed single girls proving to the world that they do not need a man to have a good time on Valentine’s Day. They eat a side salad, drink water and hork down a ton of rolls. Girls, the act would be a bit more believable if your ta-tas were not hanging out all over the place, and you were eating real food instead of nibbling on this rabbit feed. FYI – starvation is not sexy. The table of point-proving single ladies tend to tip a bit better than 10%, but better than 10% on a side salad and water is close to nil.
There is also the group of single guys in the cocktail area nursing their third pilsner of the night, eating fried foods and getting louder by the minute. They are also proving a point. Their point is that no woman is going to tie them down by tricking them into celebrating Valentine’s Day. No, by golly, they are not going to take you out on Valentine’s Day because that means you own the poor man, and he has to give up the other ladies he was dating along with his other single guy rights.
Point-proving guys, meet my point-proving ladies. If you are going to gawk at them all night, at least show your appreciation and buy them a drink, and please, oh please, leave a real tip!
If you happen to be the type of person that goes out to eat on Valentine’s Day, I’m not judging you, but please keep a few things in mind. Be prepared to wait a long time for a table. Know how to order your steak. If you don’t know how you like your steak cooked, order the chicken. Ranch does not go on bread or steak. It’s worth it to pay for a babysitter. If you can’t afford a sitter, then clean up after your children; we are servers not maids. You can’t live on salad alone. Ladies, cover up; this a family establishment. Guys, two beers is plenty; this is a family establishment, not a frat party. Be nice to your server, she’s had a rough night. For the love of Pete, learn how to tip! 10% is just rude.
If this doesn’t’ sound like something you can hold to, then stay home.
Yes, this is how I really feel!
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This was read-aloud material. You captured the reason I prefer to stay home. The couple who can’t find a babysitter? HI! Also, I *hate* the restaurant crowds. It’s noisy, it’s overwhelming, it’s not worth it. I cook. We don’t wait for a table for an hour — our dining room table won’t be occupied by anyone else. We don’t worry about someone else under or over cooking our steak. We certainly don’t worry about people staring at my oldest shove food into his face like he hasn’t seen food in weeks. We don’t worry about people staring at my loud, extroverted daughter. And this year, we won’t worry about people staring at me pulling a blanket over myself and my baby so he can have his dinner. Seriously? There’s nothing worse than going out to eat with a nursing baby in tow. No, I’m not saying I think it’s unacceptable to breastfeed in public — I’m saying that it’s not comfortable being crammed in a booth and being stared at people who think I should take it in the bathroom. (I’ve got news for them — they should take their meals to the bathroom and see how that works out for them.)
Should we ever dare to go out on V-Day, I will remember 15-20%, preferably 20%. I will remember that I actually do like medium rare to medium (mmm, pink/red center!). I’ll find a babysitter (or make one of the kids be the built-in babysitter if appropriate). But probably, we’ll stay home and cook for ourselves because it’s much more intimate without the crowds. =)
Renee,
What do you consider a good tip? We actually went out for brunch this morning to a local, family friendly place (because the kiddo was in tow) and it was nice. We tipped 20%.
20% is a great tip! I’m sure your server really appreciated your kindness.
I LOVED THIS! Only thing I *didn’t* like was it brought back awful flashbacks. Ha!
I remember Valentines’ Day being crummy for tips now that you mention it. :>/. Another thing that didn’t help was all the cheap ‘valentines dinner specials ‘ they would always add on for those folks who never ate out. ( Dinners for two etal..)
Oh Lord, I used to work in a clothing store and these women would come in and try on everything and then leave the dressing room a mess. Drove me crazy oh and rarely ever even bought anything.
Same thing in my gym. Women leave their towels on the benches. Why? Clean it up yourself, I want to yell. So inconsiderate
I could not agree more, lady. Check out my sentiments:
http://www.oldschoolnewschoolmom.com/2010/02/valentines-day-protest.html
Hey Nee, I’m a little behind on reading this post, but it’s an awesome rant nonetheless. I don’t really understand why people like to go out on Valentine’s day anyway… is it not just as good to go out a couple of nights later, or a couple of nights before? That is, if you feel you *must* celebrate this Hallmark Holiday… I think it’s ten times more meaningful for my husband to buy me flowers on a random Tuesday because he was thinkin about me that day, than for us to go on some ridiculous date that’s going to be stressful, espensive, and forced. Preach it!