Me, Myself and Mommy

I’m going to make this quick because I have to get back to pulling my hair out ASAP.

I’m going to list Moanna’s recent symptoms. Your job is to diagnose and cure the problem.

• Saturday, she spent half the day in timeout for various things
• Saturday afternoon she napped from 3:00PM-8:00PM**
• Sunday, she spent the morning in timeout for similar reasons as Saturday
• Sunday afternoon she napped from 4:00PM-9:30PM**
• Monday, Daddy came home, so all was right in the world
• Tuesday, she peed her pants 5 times, FIVE TIMES (she’s been pottytrained forever)
• Tuesday, very sassy and had out-of-control energy
• Wednesday, we woke up to find she had pooped in her bed
• Wednesday, she could not control her energy and was bouncing and screaming all evening
• Thursday, she peed her pants 3 times, THREE TIMES

So what is it? A rotten week? The terrible twos? A UTI? The joys of motherhood?

My home remedies are not working. Doctor, I need a diagnosis and a cure because I’m close to bald with all of the hair-pulling.

**Before you get judgmental on me, let me clarify. We were out of the house on Saturday and Sunday during usual nap time (for us it is 1:00PM), so Moanna had to lay down later in the day. I do not believe in missing naps, even if they are late, and even if Moanna doesn’t sleep, she still needs quiet alone time to rest in her bed. I also do not believe in waking sleeping children. I think the crazy long naps were because she would rather sleep than spend all of her day in timeout.

Every where you look there is something in the news about the health care system. I don’t want to get all political here because golly forbid some whisper a word about “change” and the entire country is in an uproar. If you want to go there, the comment section is all yours to go left, right, red, blue, donkey, elephant.

All I’m going to say is that health care is way too expensive, and it thoroughly plucks my nerves that you are required by law to have car insurance (or pay a huge wavier fee), but for many people it’s impossible or criminally expensive to get health coverage . If someone can begin to make sense out of this, I would love to hear from you because I just don’t get it! It also makes my skin crawl that if you make little or no money, your pregnancy is covered by the government, however, if you are working to support your family but do not qualify for insurance or you’ve not had insurance long enough to cover a pregnancy you’re up a creek without a paddle or canoe. You are screwed.

Slowly step down and walk away from your soapbox Renee. This is not supposed to be about politics. This is supposed to be about medical bills and finances.

Last fall, I went through some serious medical stuff complete with emergency surgery. We’re talking expensive stuff. Thankfully, we are blessed with insurance that pays for 80%. That aside, we still owe a crap ton (remember, we learned that tern the other week) of money. I’d say the whole shindig (labs, doctor visits, ambulance transport, surgery, hospital stay) is going to set us back upwards of 2k. For some of you that may seem like nothing for good medical care, but when you are on a tight budget 2k stings.

Here is the other kicker. The medical field is quick to send your tail to collections. They have no patience.

Get this, the first bill I received from the hospital was a letter saying that my account was 90 days past due, and that I had 21 days to pay off the balance in full before they sent the bill to collections. HA-HA-HA! First, the letter was dated February 1, and I didn’t receive the thing until February 16. Second, I don’t know what I’m paying for because I’ve not seen the itemized bill. Third, how can this be 90 days past due when this is the first bill you’ve bothered to send me. Forth, I don’t have the $1,500 plus you want in full. I can’t give you money I don’t have.

After I stewed, no fumed, for a day or two, I called the hospital in a calm tone, firm, but calm. The poor woman on the phone had no idea what she was in for when she answered my call. I was nice to her, but I did force her to spend a good half an hour on the phone with me. I told her that I was not at all happy that the first bill I received was a final notice. There was also no way on Earth that I could pay for this thing in full, and I was absolutely not paying a dime until I had an itemized bill in front of me to confirm that the charges were accurate.

The lady was understanding. She read me the entire bill line-by-line and is mailing me a hard copy. We talked about payment options, and she removed the 21 day ultimatum giving me a month to make the first payment after I receive the hard copy.

Now that I have bought myself some time, I am planning my next move (it feels like I’m playing chess with these people). When the itemized bill comes, I’m going to review it line-by-line. Anything is appears to be inaccurate will be fought. Once I am confident the charges are accurate, it’s time to negotiate.

Did you know you could do that? Your insurance company negotiates with the hospital before they pay up. You can do the same. A hospital would much rather cut you a deal and get a large chunk of money up front than to wait each month on the tiny payments you’re going to make over the next two years. It costs the hospital a lot of time and money to deal with your pesky payments.

Now this is just one example of the many medical bills I’ve been playing hardball with over the past few months. A few went to collections before I had time to blink. I’m telling you they are sneaky little buggers. We’re seeing to it that nothing touches my credit. It takes a lot of time and organization to keep it all straight, but it’s necessary.

There is one bill in particular that I really don’t want to pay. I have never been treated with such disrespect by doctors and nurses before in my life. They do not deserve a single cent for the lack of care I was given. I’m not going to get into that whole saga here, but I’m going to have myself a chit-chat with this particular facility before I hand over a check.

I’m not telling you to not pay your medical bills. I don’t need your hate mail telling me that I hate hospitals or that I am trying to cheat the medical folks out of money they deserve. That is not what I’m doing. During a very scary time in my life, I received excellent care by excellent doctors in excellent facilities (with one exception), and I am happy to pay them what they deserve. What I am telling you is that it is important to be vigilant when it comes to medical expenses. It is important to review your bills carefully. Hospitals make mistakes all the time, and if you do not catch and correct them, you will pay for them. You have the right to negotiate your medical bills, after all, that is what your insurance company did. You also have the right to be given proper medical attention in a respectful and manner. Don’t let people walk on you, especially when you’re feeling crappy to begin with.

Alright Politician, the floor is yours. Speak your peace.

Today I am grateful for second winds. There have been countless days where I think, “I’m not gonna make it,” and somehow I’ve been able to muster up the energy to make it through.

That last little bit of push is what gets me out of bed the next morning. It’s usually a second wind that gives me the energy and drive I need to cross a couple of things off of the to-do list. When I can go to bed feeling like I accomplished something, it makes getting out of bed the next morning so much easier because if I made it through today, then certainly I can make it through tomorrow.

I am thankful for the second wind that came to me this evening. It allowed me to get a few things done around the house. I even vacuumed. That second wind gave me hope that I can make it through the rest of the week, and that is something to be grateful for.

Valentine’s Day, hand down, is my least favorite holiday of the year. I loathe the holiday. I didn’t always have such a poor opinion of the day, it grew over time. No, I didn’t have a boy crush my Valentine’s Day dreams. My hatred for the holiday developed because I waited tables for several years on Valentine’s Day. No, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was missing out on hot dates because I was working. I just want to be clear that my distaste, OK disdain, for the holiday has nothing to do with boys. It’s purely professional.

I double, dog dare my husband to take me out to eat on Valentine’s Day.  If he ever had the audacity to do such a thing, he may find himself at the point-proving single guys’ table (I’ll get to that in a minute). I dare him to even utter the words, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” If he’s smart, he’ll pretend the holiday doesn’t exists.

One might think that working on Valentine’s Day as a server is excellent because the money is good. You could not be more wrong. People who never, I mean never, go out to eat, go out on Valentine’s Day. These people do not how to behave in a restaurant, and they certainly do not know how to tip. In case you were stuck in the 19 I don’t know what’s, 10% is NOT an acceptable tip. You are lucky if you bring home 10% on Valentine’s Day, and that is before you tip out the hostess and busboy.

Not only do these people not know how to tip, they don’t have patience, and they don’t know how to order a steak. Do not get sassy with me because it took me a whole 30 seconds to get to your table after the hostess seated you. I am so very sorry for that unacceptable delay in service, but the table behind you was complaining because their steak was under cooked. When in fact, their steak was cooked to medium rare perfection. They just don’t know that medium rare means ‘warm red center.’ Don’t worry, you’re going to complain that your steak took too long and is tough because you asked for it to be cooked ‘exter, exter well,’ – not extra well, but ‘exter, exter well.’ I hate to tell you this, but it’s going to take longer for your steak to cook to ‘exter, exter well’ and ‘exter, exter well’ steak is tough, especially when you expect it to cook in less than five minutes.

In addition to the poor tip and steak battle, half of the couples are miserable. A lot of them have horrible relationships, and are being drug out in public against their will. You can see it in their eyes. The relationship died a long time ago, but they’re too comfortable or too scared to leave. Valentine’s Day is just a slap in the face reminder of what their relationship isn’t.

On occasion you do come across couples that really do love each other, but the poor things can’t find and/or afford a babysitter, so they’re stuck bringing the kids out for date night. It’s probably the only date they get a year, and they have to spend it in an over crowded restaurant with the reason they never get to go out on a date – the two kids that are screaming at the top of their lungs, jumping on the booth seat, and rubbing ketchup in their hair. I feel for this couple. They need a hug. They also need to be reminded that just because their kids got to eat for free, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a real tip. After all, I’m going to have to scrub the ketchup off this table when you leave. While I am cleaning up after your bundles of joy, that table over there is fuming because their “exter, exter well’ steak isn’t ready, and the couple that knows how to leave a real tip was seated in someone else’s section because it took me forever to get the ketchup off the table AND the seat.

Then there are the tables of barely dressed single girls proving to the world that they do not need a man to have a good time on Valentine’s Day. They eat a side salad, drink water and hork down a ton of rolls. Girls, the act would be a bit more believable if your ta-tas were not hanging out all over the place, and you were eating real food instead of nibbling on this rabbit feed. FYI – starvation is not sexy. The table of point-proving single ladies tend to tip a bit better than 10%, but better than 10% on a side salad and water is close to nil.

There is also the group of single guys in the cocktail area nursing their third pilsner of the night, eating fried foods and getting louder by the minute. They are also proving a point. Their point is that no woman is going to tie them down by tricking them into celebrating Valentine’s Day. No, by golly, they are not going to take you out on Valentine’s Day because that means you own the poor man, and he has to give up the other ladies he was dating along with his other single guy rights.

Point-proving guys, meet my point-proving ladies. If you are going to gawk at them all night, at least show your appreciation and buy them a drink, and please, oh please, leave a real tip!

If  you happen to be the type of person that goes out to eat on Valentine’s Day, I’m not judging you, but please keep a few things in mind. Be prepared to wait a long time for a table. Know how to order your steak. If you don’t know how you like your steak cooked, order the chicken. Ranch does not go on bread or steak. It’s worth it to pay for a babysitter. If you can’t afford a sitter, then clean up after your children; we are servers not maids. You can’t live on salad alone. Ladies, cover up; this a family establishment. Guys, two beers is plenty; this is a family establishment, not a frat party. Be nice to your server, she’s had a rough night. For the love of Pete, learn how to tip! 10% is just rude.

If this doesn’t’ sound like something you can hold to, then stay home.

Yes, this is how I really feel!

Our family welcomed 2010 with big dreams, and a great desire to see where the year and decade will take us. January wasted no time in bringing us challenges and opportunities. After a few final relaxing days of our Holiday Break, we hit the ground running.

We spent New Year’s Day having a late Christmas with my family. We spent the evening playing with Evan’s new Wii, exchanging gifts and eating. Because we were burnt out on Holiday food, we had fish tacos, and Jai made homemade mango salsa. My Grandma gave us a painting of Steve, Mo and I on our wedding day. It takes a jack hammer to put nails in our walls, so it sits on top of a table propped against the wall.

After a final weekend of relaxing at home, I returned to work and Steve flew to Dallas, Texas for a business planning meeting. Since then, we have both been running hard with work. We’ve been so busy that we barely see each other, and Moanna is a long for the ride. Our hope is that pushing hard this year will pay off, and we will have more time together in the long run.

In January we released a new section of My, Myself and Mommy called Me, Myself and Money. In this section of the website, we are discussing personal finances, and everything it implies. By beginning this adventure, we have faced how much debt we have, set spending limits, and stopped eating out (minus one date a month) – all in the first month. The plan is to have our consumer debt (credit cards) paid off by the end of 2010. It’s going to be a crazy ride, but will be so worth it. I think I’m going to need a Dramamine.

On the evening of January 12th, my Mom called to tell us that there had been a catastrophic earthquake in Haiti. Our hearts immediately turned to Steve’s best friend, Andy, who is from Haiti. Much of our focus remained on Haiti throughout the month, and what we can do to help. We are working with Andy on long term projects that will help the people of Haiti now, and that will continue to help Haiti in the months and years to come.

The weekend of January 23rd, Steve and I went down to Charlotte, North Carolina (Moanna stayed in Virginia). Steve had a sales conference and awards banquet to attend. Some of Steve’s closest friends are the people he works with, so it was great to spend time with these people, and celebrate every one’s successes at the banquet. While Steve was in his sales meetings, I spent time with Erin, my maid-of-honor who lives just north of Charlotte. It was nice to decompress away from home for the weekend.

Moanna had a good January. She was busy with anything she could get into – cooking, climbing, dumping clothes out of baskets, playing in the snow, all kinds of toddler fun. She is really starting to grasp bigger ideas and concepts. I don’t have a good example for you which is a shame. She will say or do something, and Steve and  I will look at each other and say, “How does she know to do that?” Moanna sings her her ABC’s every night – minus J. Every time, she leaves out the J.

For about three days, three whole days, the ground was free from snow. Just as soon as the snow had finally melted from the December Blizzard, another snow storm came to town the last weekend in January. Steve was out of town for a trade show, leaving Moanna and I to fend for ourselves. It was a rough weekend. She and I drove each other crazy. I would clean a room up, she would tear it apart. She would want to watch a movie, I would want to take a nap. Don’t get me wrong, we had our fun in the snow and played around the house, but the cabin fever got to both us after awhile.

I can usually look back at a month and say “overall it was a good month” or “overall it was a challenging month.” For January, I can’t do that. The first month of 2010, a new decade, was all over the place. One day it was great, and we were spending time with family and friends, and we were dreaming big dreams for our future. The next day, we were aching for the people of Haiti and trying to make it through our ever growing to-do list without having an emotional breakdown. If January was a preview of what 2010 will bring, then boy, what a doozy.

With all of the ups and downs and running around, I had no time to really think and reflect about what I was doing and what was going on in my life. I felt robotic at times just trying to get through it all. In many ways I am thankful for the robotic behaviors I took on because it allowed to me to push through some sticky stuff without allowing the stress of it all to paralyze me. Every night I was able to push myself for a few minutes every night to complete at least one small project in the house. I am far from a fan of it, but sometimes auto pilot is what gets us through a bitter winter without loosing our sanity.