Piggy Banks and Purse Change
This is a learn as we go situation, so keep treading water with me, as I figure this out. I’m still trying to find the best way to share our earnings and spending with you. I don’t want to bombard you with a post for every single purchase and bank deposit we make. I also don’t want to save it all up for one mac-daddy (did I just say mac-daddy?) post at the end of the month like I have been so far. You’re going to take one look at it and go, “That is way too much information in one post.” CLICK. You would close the window and never return. I’m making this up as I go along. As you’re tagging along, I could really use your advice. After all, one of the main points of Me, Myself and Money is to learn from each other.
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In the mean time, we had an interesting evening here the other day with a piggy bank and an old purse. I had a revelation, or a rerevelation because I have a feeling this thought has crossed my mind before.
Steve’s best friend, Andy, gave Moanna a piggy bank for Christmas. It was a big pink pig with her name on it. Andy told Moanna that it was for, “Saving money to make her dreams come true.” Moanna didn’t care about the dreams; she was excited to have a new place to put all the change she finds around the house. If she finds money laying around, it’s hers.
We decided that Moanna should move all of her money from her old piggy bank to the new one. It would be a fun project for her. It would also be a great opportunity for us to teach her about money. Before Moanna was born, even before we were “dating,” Steve and I had many conversations about how important it is to teach children about money. The new pig was our segway into teaching Moanna about compound interest, credit cards, supply and demand, negotiating, residual income… Slow down? Too much information for a two-year-old? You’re right. We’ll start her financial education by letting her play with money and getting familiar with it.
We dumped all of her money out on the table, and let her have at it. For a short while, she was fully engrossed in her little project. I even had her separating the money into piles. Her enthusiasm quickly waned when I tried to turn her fun into a learning project. She got impatient with me when I tried to explain that the big one was a quarter and the pink one was a penny.
Steve took over. They took turns dropping change into the pig, and giggling. I think Steve had more fun than Mo. When they got near the end of the pile o’ change, Steve told Moanna that I had more change for her. Her interest perked up at the prospect of more money.
“I do!?”
“Yes, in your old purse.”
“Really? I had no idea.”
I fetched my purse and began digging. After pulling out several dollars in change, and a few dozen pens, I realized Steve’s alternative motive was for me to clean out this purse and get it off of our bedroom floor. Sneaky. I continued to pull out handfuls of change, pens, markers, hair ties, receipts, medicine, gum… You name it. It was in there.
As I looked at this pile of stuff that I had pulled out of my purse, I was suddenly horrified by how much money it represented. Correction, how much wasted money it represented. Not only did I hand Moanna $10.00 plus in change, but I had pulled out hundreds of dollars in receipts. Receipts that were mostly for things that I had eaten rushing to-and-from work, or things that I no longer owned like a calendar or makeup (I don’t even wear makeup 95% of the time). I came across several expired coupons – really good coupons – coupons for things that I buy on a regular basis.
I stopped counting pens and markers when I got to twenty. Do you have any idea how many pens I have purchased because I couldn’t find something to write with? I found a bottle of pain killers, and a bottle of expired vitamins. I also found four stray prescription painkillers. Those could have really come in handy this winter. I discovered several hair ties and hair clips, a pack of mints, a pack of gum and a brand new tube of chap stick.
How much money does all of that stuff add up to? $50.00? Easily right? Add that to the $10.00 in change and the tons of receipts. That equals a crap ton (official financial terminology).
Unreal.
Maddening.
I went to bed wondering, if I found that much wasted money in one medium sized purse, how much more money had I let go to waste because of my disorganization, poor planning and stupid purchases? If I cleaned out my car or the desk, what would I find? How about the boxes and boxes of stuff that were never unpacked after we moved for the eighth time in two years?
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Here are some things to think about this weekend…
How much change is in your purse? Car? Nightstand? Couch?
What do you do with your change? Give it to your kids? Save it? Donate it? Buy yourself something pretty? Pay down debt? Buy dessert?
How much money do you waste because of disorganization, poor planning and stupid purchases?
I have a feeling these kinds of questions are going to come up again and again as we learn about money. I just hope my answers become less embarrassing over time.
Announcing the Winner of Haïti Aide
Thank you all so much for participating, and showing your support for Haiti.
I’m excited to announce that Anika was randomly selected for the $50.00 donation! Anika’s charity of choice is the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.
I’m also excited to announce that Auntie Jill will be matching the $50.00 donation to the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints! She was debating what charity she should contribute to in support of Haiti, and decided that she would make her donation to the charity selected in Haiti Aide.
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It’s been two weeks since the tragic earthquake in Haiti. We have continued to watch the nightly news, and have stayed in constant contact with Andy. Everyday new stories unfold, both heartbreaking and uplifting. It’s still hard to believe that something that lasted less than a minute can change so many lives.
The more we learn about Haiti, and how much help is desperately needed there, the more we want to help. The desire to help in a big way has become palpable for our family. In the coming weeks, I will continue to post about Haiti. I will give you more opportunities to help Haiti, and I will share the things that we are doing in our family to help.
Please continue to keep the people Haiti in your thoughts and prayers. Don’t let your desire to help fade as the news coverage dwindles.
When Fibromyalgia Takes Control
When I am under an immense amount of stress, be it physical, mental or emotional my Fibromyalgia symptoms intensify. When the weather is brutal cold my Fibromyalgia symptoms intensify. Sometimes for no apparent reason my Fibromalgia symptoms intensify.
In the past few weeks, I have felt pain and exhaustion that I have not felt in several years. I wake up, and feel like I never slept. No, I feel worse in the morning than I did when I went to bed. The pain throughout my entire body is so deep that I can’t find comfort anywhere. My mood is down. My patience is shot. My outlook on life is not what it should be. I am not a fun person to be around, and I don’t even like being around myself when this happens. If I could get up and walk away from myself, I would.
When Fibromyalgia takes control, it takes everything I have to make it through the day. I can only do the bare minimum. It takes everything in my being to get up in the morning and go to work. You can forget being any help or support to my family when I get home from work. They are lucky to get frozen pizza for dinner on a bad day. Laundry, cleaning, writing and playing are not an option. Relaxing isn’t even on the table because that is how much it hurts and how exhausted I am.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I can fight it and push the pain and exhaustion away, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to fight back. When, Fibromyalgia takes control, I’d rather be somewhere else – somewhere far away from where I am now, far away from me.
Haïti Aide
Long before the shattering earthquake on January 12, 2010, Haiti has been in desperate need of help. It’s hard to imagine that less than 800 miles from Florida lies the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the forth poorest country in the world. Now more than ever, the people of Haiti need to be heard and helped.
For us, this tragedy has been on our hearts and minds nonstop. Steve’s best friend, Andy, is from Haiti. He lives here in the US, so he is safe. His sister and mom also live in the US. However, they have a lot of family and friends in Haiti. They have had contact from many of their close relatives and friends. They’ve also received a lot of heartbreaking news of those that did not make it, and there are some that are still missing. It’s impossible to imagine what they and hundreds of thousands of others are going through.
I’m grateful that so many reputable organizations are sending help to Haiti. I am grateful that countries from all over the world are coming together to bring Haiti the support they need to get through this tragedy. I am grateful for the individuals that are donating money, supplies and time to the people of Haiti. I’m hopeful that this aid in all forms will continue to pour into Haiti as they begin to rebuild their country, and their home.
I know so many of you are doing what you can to offer your support and prayers to Haiti. Thank you. I hope that you can continue to donate your time, money, resources and prayers to Haiti long after the media buzz wears off. I encourage you to take time to learn about the people of Haiti – their history, their government, their culture. It is only through educating ourselves that we can begin to understand what these people are going through, and how we can best help them now and in the future.
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GIVEAWAY
To help you make a difference, I am going to donate $50.00 in your name to the Haitian-related reputable charity of your choice.
To enter, simply leave a comment with the name of the organization you would like to donate to. Again, this organization must be reputable, and the money must go to Haitian relief.
If your comment doesn’t show up right away, don’t panic, it will show up shortly.
On January 25, 2010 (Monday) at 10:00AM, I will close the comments and randomly select a winner.
The winner will have $50.00 donated in their name to the organization of their choice.
** Family, you can enter this one too. If the randomly selected winner, happens to be a family member, I will select a second winner.
Thank you so much for participating and supporting the beautiful people of Haiti.
Gratitiude 01.19.10
Today I am grateful for silence. I love the between moments when there is no noise and no movement. The house is empty, the TV is off, there are no appliances running – everything is peaceful and quiet. Sometimes in these moments, I can even turn off my thoughts.
These moments don’t come often in this crazy life. For me, they happen when everyone leaves the house and I’m suddenly alone,when I’m sitting in the car for a minute before getting out to go inside, or just after lunch when I return to the office before anyone discovers that I’ve returned. It’s nice to just be still and melt into the warmth of the silence. Sometimes it only takes a minute or two of solidarity to rejuvenate and refocus yourself.
I am thankful for the brief moments of silence that come and go throughout the day allowing us to take a deep breath and let the tension. I am also grateful that I am learning to recognize these opportunities for silence and take advantage of them.
The Starting Block
I’ve been tracking our income and spending for the first two weeks of January, and buddy, it’s unreal. It’s amazing how quickly the dollars leave the bank account and how slowly they come in. You’ll see what I mean in a few days when I share that with you. Until then, I want to give you an idea of where we are starting and where we are trying to go.
Wait, before we get started, we’ve got a few disclaimers or what- have-you to go over.
First. I will share with you every dollar we make. However, I am not going to separate mine and Steve’s income. We both bring home the bacon, and we both know how to burn it. If we sell something on EBay or have a yard sale I will identify that income and detail those experiences.
Second. Our cost of living type expenses are going to be lumped into one number. This will include rent, utilities and cell phones. I have my reasons.
So, here we go…
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As of January 1, 2010 we had a total of $2,039.34 in all of our many bank accounts. It looks good on paper, but I promise you that money is already spent. I am impressed that we started the year with that much. There have been years that we’ve had less than $200.00 as our starting point.
Below, I have added a chart of all of our debts. It hurts. It keeps me awake at night. It’s why we don’t own a home, travel the way we dream or buy fancy things. It’s one of the reasons I still work. This is one of our biggest financial challenges.
DEBTS
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With that being said, here are our financial goals and plans for the year of 2010.
1. We are going to track every penny we make and spend in order to learn where our money goes and to gain more control over our spending.
2. We plan to pay off all of our debts except the car and student loans by the end of the year. We know this is ambitious, and that we will run into holes in the road, but this is our plan.
3. We are going to dispute the errors that were found on our credit reports.
4. Everything we eat must be purchased from the grocery store except for one date a month. There will be times when this is not possible because Steve travels for work sometimes and must eat to stay alive.
* One of our other family goals is to eat more organic foods. We have budgeted for slightly higher grocery bills to cover this expense.
5. We will be having a massive yard sale in the spring, selling things on EBay, and doing other things to make extra money.
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Having that big honking chunk of debt staring at me is a little scary. It’s maddening to know that if we didn’t have debt, I could be a stay at home mom if I that was my desire. $1,233.33 a month goes to things of the past. At least half of it goes to college days that are long gone. The other major junk of it goes to a car that is worth less than half of what we paid for it.
The other side to this is that it’s empowering to stare back at that $1,233.33. Putting it all on paper and adding it up let’s us know what were working with. Now that we have a real number, we know what we’re up against and what it’s going to take to win the race.
Reflections – December 2009
December was jam packed and wonderful from start to finish. I’m trying to remember something that wasn’t enjoyable, and nothing is coming to mind. Don’t worry. I’m sure I had a meltdown or two in there somewhere.
I wrote a post that was published on Momversation on December 2nd. It was so exciting to see something that I had written on a website that I admire. Writing that post taught me just how hard it is to write for someone else, especially since the topic was open ended. I look forward to doing similar projects in the future.
December was a busy month for us at church. On December 6th, Steve gave Moanna her Baby Blessing. Typically, this blessing is performed when children are infants. However, we were not members of the church when Moanna was born, and Steve did not receive the Priesthood until this Fall. On that same day, I was called as the Relief Society Secretary. I’ve been struggling to stay afloat with this calling, but I am slowly getting my ducks in a row. Just when I think I have this whole thing figured out, something new comes along. Then, the following Sunday, Steve gave his first talk in church. His topic was discipleship.
Funny story, at about 10:00PM the Saturday before his talk, I looked at him and was like, “Are you ready for tomorrow?” He freaked out because he thought i he wasn’t talking until the following week. It was too late to call someone to confirm or to beg for more time, so Steve prepared his talk. The next day we walk into church, and find out that Steve’s talk was scheduled for the following Sunday (Steve was right.). However, because of the mild ice storm a representative from Lynchburg that was scheduled to come talk, was unable to make it. The bishopric was trying to figure out how to fill that time during sacrament, so they were relieved when they heard Steve was prepared to speak. (I win.)
We did not decorate for Christmas this year. I know, I know. Bahumbug. I had my reasons. One reason was, we were not going to be here for Christmas. I did not have time to decorate and undecorate, especially if we were not going to be home. Since we would not be home for Christmas to enjoy the decorations, we wanted to take the time we were going to use to decorate to do other Holiday things.
For example, instead of decorating, we went to a Live Nativity. I think it was called “Journey to Bethlehem.” A local church puts it together every year for two weekends in December. It was teeth-chattering cold outside, so we wore multiple layers to stay warm. When we got there, it was well worth the three pairs of underwear Steve insisted on wearing. There were people in costumes acting. There was music. There was fire. There was a little Bethlehem. There were live animals. There was a baby Jesus (pretend – no real life babies were used in the making). And at the end, there was hot apple cider. It was so much fun, and free… minus the pretend taxes we had to pay. People come from all over to participate in this wonderful activity, and watch the story of Christmas come to life.
Just a few days after a massive snow storm plowed through Virginia, I turned 25. Actually, Steve and I both celebrated our birthdays in December. Mine was the 22nd, and Steve’s was the 29th. Yep, that’s right; I’m a whole week older than him. He hates it. It’s crazy to think that we are a quarter of a century old. We are starting a new life quarter as the world begins a new decade. What will come? What will come?
On the 23rd, we journeyed to Maryland to spend Christmas with Steve’s parents and grandfather. It usually only takes us four hours to get there; with the Holiday traffic, it took us six hours with no stopping. However, once we got there, it was a relaxing and laidback week. Moanna played and played and played with Steve’s family. She couldn’t get enough of it, and they couldn’t get enough of her. We ate and ate and ate. I’m still full from all the food we ate.
On Christmas morning, we spent more than two hours opening presents and taking pictures. This is Moanna’s third Christmas, so she was really getting into it. She had to take every teeny- tiny piece of paper off of each present, and then she wanted to take it out of the box and put it together before she opened her next gift. We had three cameras going nonstop. I’m thinking that between the three cameras, we probably took close to a thousand pictures, maybe more.
(We did Christmas with my family on New Year’s Day. Since that is technically, January. I’ll tell you all about it in my January Reflections.)
While we were in Maryland, we stopped by to see the lighthouse that we got married at. When we pulled up, we asked Moanna if she remembered it. She said, “That’s where we got married!” We then drove by the boat we had our rehearsal dinner on, and asked if she remembered that. She remembered. “That’s the special boat we were on. Andy was there. Grandma and Grandpa were there. My friends were there. Everyone was there.” It’s been a long time since we were there, and by the magic of toddler memory, Moanna knew exactly where we were.
New Year’s Ever was low key for us. The three of us stayed home and wore our party hats as we watched movies and ate popcorn. Moanna wore her party shoes and stayed up until the New Year too. She had no idea what was going on, but she was excited.
December was busy, but busy in a good way. It was good to be busy with family things and things of the Holiday season. December gave us many opportunities to serve others and to get outside of ourselves and our own issues. We loved that Steve and I were able to take two whole off from work weeks together; which is something we’ve not been able to do in several years. We loved that we had so much time to spend with Moanna, demon temper tantrums and all.
2009 was a good run. It was not easy all of the time. There were days, that I didn’t know if we would make it. We had challenges of all kinds in 2009: work, family, medical, financial, personal, you name it. On the shinier side of the coin, we got married and baptized. Moanna was given a blessing. We watched many friends get married. I started writing. Steve changed jobs. I was promoted. We learned from all of our challenges. We learned to appreciate our time together and time with family in a whole new way. We learned to take risks. Moanna gave up her binky and blanket. She also went from baby to little girl; excuse me, big girl. We made a lot of memories. We laughed. We laughed when it hurt, and we laughed until it hurt.
Introducing: Me, Myself and Money
When was the last time you had an honest conversation about money? Can you remember? OK, if you can’t remember the last time you openly and honestly spoke about money with your partner, your parents, your children, your friends, then when was the last time you were honest with yourself about money? When was the last time you said, “Self, this is what your bank statement looks like, and this is where your money goes.” You can’t remember that either? Do you remember, but you don’t want to admit what your Self said to you about your money? Or, do you not want to admit that you address yourself as “Self?”
In school we all go through sex education. At a very awkward age, our parents give us “the talk.” We stay up late talking and giggling with our friends about it. There is information everywhere you look in college to protect you from making bad sexual choices. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is very important to educate our youth (and to continue that education throughout adulthood) about making healthy and positive sexual decisions. HOWEVER, HOW-EVER, why don’t we put this kind of effort into education our population about money? Why don’t we go through personal finance education in grade school? Why don’t our parents give us “the money talk”? Why are we afraid to talk to our friends about money? Why are there not posters and fliers blanketing college campuses about making healthy money decisions? Instead, there are tables setup outside of the dining halls tempting students to sign up for credit cards. If you ask me, that is the financial equivalent of handing out free condoms with giant holes poked in the ends.
It’s time to put an end to this whole talking about money is taboo business. It’s time to start honestly talking about money. It’s time to educate ourselves, each other and our children (please, please our children) about money. It’s time to introduce Me, Myself and Money.
Me, Myself and Money is a new section of Me, Myself and Mommy. I am going to chronicle every penny that Steve and I earn and spend. I’ll talk about our financial goals. I will talk about the thought process that goes behind our financial decisions. I will talk about our financial successes and our financial setbacks. I will talk about our good choices and the dumb ones. I will talk about how earning and spending money makes me feel. I will ask for your advice.
My hope is that by openly and truthfully talking to you about my finances and financial thought process, you will begin to openly talk about your money with your partner, children, parents and friends. Since we’re being open and honest here, I also hope that by sharing the intimate details of my finances, I will gain full control over my money instead of my money having control over me.
How are you holding up over there? Breathing OK?
I think this is going to be hot. I think talking about money can be just as sexy as talking about birthcontrol options.
I saw you blushing. Don’t hide it.
Love, Love, Love
I’ve come across this video on a few blogs that I read, and wanted to share it with you.
It’s garunteed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You might even be inspired to sing along.
Didn’t that feel like a big fat hug?
Reflections – November 2009
Because I am a total slacker, and because life between Thanksgiving and now has been a whirlwind, I never got around to writing a Reflections post for November. Which is a shame. November wasn’t too shabby. To make it up to you, I threw something quick together. I was going to do a combo Reflection of November and December, but it turned into something so long, it exhausted me to read it. I’m sure I won’t have a very clear vision of November, but I will do my best to remember.
The first week and a half of November I was still on medical leave. Mentally, it was a very tormenting time. There were moments when I was dying to return to work. I was ready to get up an move on. Then, there were times that the idea of returning to work made me ill. I had gotten very comfortable at home. There were also times when I didn’t know what I wanted or how I felt.
On November 10th, I returned to work. I was surprised at how relieved I was to be back. It was nice to get dressed and accomplish things. I struggled. I was exhausted. Thankfully I was able to return with light duty work and on limited hours. I had to embrace the changes that had naturally taken place while I was out. It’s both comforting and challenging to realize that things continue when you are away.
During the weeks following my return to work, most of our efforts were spent working to figure out how to, once again, juggle our schedules, maintaining a home, and of course keeping Moanna happy, healthy and entertained. It’s amazing how quickly we unlearn how to juggle. It’s not quite like riding a bike, you have to practice and it’s inevitable that you will drop a ball or all of them.
Thanksgiving week was a very fulfilling week for us. It was also a huge blessing for me and my body, as I readjusted to life as a working woman. We squeezed in three Thanksgiving meals and made apple butter. On Wednesday, we had Thanksgiving with my Family. Thursday we had Thanksgiving lunch at Nanny and PopPop’s, and Thanksgiving dinner with my Dad’s Family. Thursday evening, and all day Friday we made a butt load of apple butter. Unfortunately, with just a few days off, we were not able to make it to Maryland for this break.
The Sunday following Thanksgiving, I gave my first talk in church. Eeeek. It was about family. I referenced all of the Thanksgiving meals we had, and all of the many other people we share food with. I then explained that family to me is not exclusive to the people on our family tree, but they are everyone we share food with. When we share food, we are also laughing, crying, making memories, arguing, sharing major life changes and learning from each other. Therefore, these people are family.
November was a good month. I wish I had written my thoughts and reflections of it much sooner than now. It was a sink or swim kind of month, and I think we managed to at least tread water.
