Missing In Action
This week would have been a great week to write. I’ve had a fairly “normal” work schedule. I’ve been motivated to accomplish things at home. I’ve had a lot of things to share with you. Funny things. Thoughtful things. Things I’ve discovered. More funny things. So many, many funny things.
So, why haven’t I been sitting down to write all of these wonderful things?
Well, My Friend, my brand spanking new computer died!
It began to show signs of weakness on Friday. I turned it on and the screen wasn’t working. I could hear the computer running, and the little start up tune played. Pitch black screen. I remained calm, and let it rest for awhile. Saturday rolled around, and the same thing happened. Only, this time, it never recovered. On Sunday night, I gave up hope and called computer life support. I was informed that there was nothing they could do for me over the phone. I would have to wait for a doctor to make a house call.
While I waited, I cleaned. I cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen floor (there is a story behind that) and the living room. I also cooked and watched TV. I went to bed early. I fell asleep before midnight. I read.
While I waited, I did not do laundry or dishes. I did not change my name on the many documents that need to be changed before the end of 2009.
Finally, today, a technician came to our house to save my life fix my laptop. He determined that the back-light had gone out, and immediately began dissecting the laptop. I was amazed by how many little tiny screws, wires and pieces there were. It looked like he was disarming a bomb with how carefully he was working. Within no more than half an hour my laptop was revived.
We are back in business! Minus the fact that I’m about to start a very, very busy weekend at work.I’ll sleep sometime in 2010.
Someday I will share with you…
Reflections of November
Moanna’s Baby Blessing
Moanna’s Bright Green Poop
Along with a few discoveries I’ve made, and want to get in writing before they escape me… Crap… I think I lost one already…
2 going on 13
“EXCUSE ME. MOMMY, YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF MY WAY AND BE QUIET.”
At least she said excuse me.
“MOMMY! YOU NEED SHHH BECAUSE I’M TALKING.”
“Oh, no. You do NOT talk to people that way. EVER!”
“I SAID BE QUIET.”
“That’s it lady. You are sitting in timeout until you are ready to apologize to Mommy and Daddy for your behavior.”
“SHHHH, YOU HUSH.”
“You can sit here until you’re done with puberty.”
That girl is going to start her period any day with that kind of sassy attitude. Where did this come from? Seriously, I was not prepared to deal with this for at least another nine or ten years. At least.
I’m not a fan of blaming things on “terrible twos” or “it’s just a phase.” Everything has an explanation, and therefore a solution. I’ve been picking my brain to find a reason behind this sudden change in behavior.
So far, I’ve come up with nothing. Which probably means I’m not fully in tune with what’s going on in my child’s world. Which probably means she is acting out because I’m not in tune with her. Which probably means that she is developing issues. Which definitely means I’m going to have to pay a lot for therapy so that she doesn’t hate me for the rest her life. Which means that I am going to be broke. Which probably means, any other children I have will resent me for spending all of my money on Moanna’s therapy.
You know, maybe I am OK with blaming this on a phase. That’s all it is. A phase. She’ll grow out of it and into another one in a few weeks or so. No big deal. It’s cool. We’ll just be spending a lot of time in timeout. At least timeout is cheaper than therapy.
“MOMMY! I WANT A SNACK.”
“There are no snacks in timeout.”
“I SAID, I WANT A SNACK.”
“THERE ARE NO SNACKS OR TALKING IN TIMEOUT!”
“I SAID SNACK.”
“If you do not stop talking to me that way, you will be spending the rest of your life in timeout. And, I said, NO SNACKS.”
“SNACK”
It’s 6:30PM. Is that too early for bedtime?
The Hypocrite
When you become a Mommy, you become a hypocrite. There is no way around it, and there is no way out. You are constantly telling your child to do one thing, and meanwhile you are doing the exact opposite.
Here are many examples of how I have been a hypocrite in the past week alone…
1. I tell Moanna to put her clothes in her laundry basket. Meanwhile, my clothes stay where they land until the urge hits me to put them in the laundry basket.
2. Moanna asks for a new cup of water, I tell she needs to finish what she has first. Meanwhile, I get a fresh glass of water every time my water gets warm.
3. I tell Moanna she has to go to bed at a certain time to have energy for tomorrow’s fun. Meanwhile, I never go to bed at a decent hour, and once I’m in bed I have to watch TV until I fall asleep.
4. Moanna takes a vitamin everyday. Meanwhile, I do not.
5. Moanna has to put her shoes way before bed. Meanwhile, I kick mine off where ever the urge hits me, and that’s where they stay.
6. I limit the number of snacks and sweets Moanna eats. Meanwhile, I have a chocolate addiction.
7. Moanna has to say prayer out loud before she eats. Meanwhile, I avoid saying prayer out loud at all possible costs.
8. Moanna is not allowed to eat in the living room. Meanwhile, I eat in the living room whenever she’s asleep or out of the house.
9. Moanna gets in trouble for trying to lock herself in the bathroom. Meanwhile, I lock Moanna out of the bathroom so that I can pee alone.
10. I think I’ve made my point…
I know that we all want what is best for our children, and that we want them to develop healthy habits. I also know that children learn by example and model the behavior of those around them. I’m willing to work on the laundry, shoes and vitamins. However, I am not willing to give up chocolate or locking the bathroom door. Some days, it’s the only time I have to myself.
