The Hypocrite
When you become a Mommy, you become a hypocrite. There is no way around it, and there is no way out. You are constantly telling your child to do one thing, and meanwhile you are doing the exact opposite.
Here are many examples of how I have been a hypocrite in the past week alone…
1. I tell Moanna to put her clothes in her laundry basket. Meanwhile, my clothes stay where they land until the urge hits me to put them in the laundry basket.
2. Moanna asks for a new cup of water, I tell she needs to finish what she has first. Meanwhile, I get a fresh glass of water every time my water gets warm.
3. I tell Moanna she has to go to bed at a certain time to have energy for tomorrow’s fun. Meanwhile, I never go to bed at a decent hour, and once I’m in bed I have to watch TV until I fall asleep.
4. Moanna takes a vitamin everyday. Meanwhile, I do not.
5. Moanna has to put her shoes way before bed. Meanwhile, I kick mine off where ever the urge hits me, and that’s where they stay.
6. I limit the number of snacks and sweets Moanna eats. Meanwhile, I have a chocolate addiction.
7. Moanna has to say prayer out loud before she eats. Meanwhile, I avoid saying prayer out loud at all possible costs.
8. Moanna is not allowed to eat in the living room. Meanwhile, I eat in the living room whenever she’s asleep or out of the house.
9. Moanna gets in trouble for trying to lock herself in the bathroom. Meanwhile, I lock Moanna out of the bathroom so that I can pee alone.
10. I think I’ve made my point…
I know that we all want what is best for our children, and that we want them to develop healthy habits. I also know that children learn by example and model the behavior of those around them. I’m willing to work on the laundry, shoes and vitamins. However, I am not willing to give up chocolate or locking the bathroom door. Some days, it’s the only time I have to myself.
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Wow, this really makes me stop and take a look at what I’m doing — although I have to agree with you on the chocolate. Chocolate is a necessity, and at least the little Dove promises come with little messages.
Great post. I can totally relate! Especially when I encourage my daughter to do something constructive (play, color, use your imagination) … as I sit on Twitter. Shameful!
Interesting realizations. As parents we all do that because……we are the ‘adults’. Teaching our children is our job. Parents and children should not have the same rules….if so, you would be going to bed at 9ish; not allowed outside alone,etc…..etc….
I can agree with your list, except #3,6,8,9. Again, you are the adult and I can’t see that eating chocolate is being a hypocrite; nor eating in the livingroom…you are not a child who spills and slops….and #9….You deserve your privacy and I’m sure you will not get into anything toxic, etc. Moanna will learn boundries and bathroom privacy is one of them for adults.
Honey…don’t be so hard on yourself….I think you and Steve are doing a great job. You have a precious, happy child and that doesn’t happen by accident.
Love Grandma
Ask Grandma what she always said to your mom and me when we were kids and called her out when she was being a mommy-hypocrite. If she cannot recall, it was…”do as I say, not as I do”. Drove us nuts! She is correct though about having the right to adult privileges that you don’t have to justify to your daughter. However, at some point in time, Mo will get old enough to understand the difference and she’ll be calling you out when you throw your stuff around while telling her to clean hers up. BTW, chocolate is an adult woman’s necessity so you can completely strike that off your list.
I tell my children not to eat in their bedrooms while I do…
I tell my children to brush their teeth every night bust sometimes I fall asleep before I do…
I’ve thought of this before, but you wrote it all out so well.
….and there was always the unapologetic “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” This always drove me nuts. Even as a youngster it just seemed right to question authority. This led me to always feeling like I had to justify myself to my own kids. Negotiated way too much. Remember who’s boss. (THAT’S YOU). Be a hypocrite at times and don’t worry too much about it. BECAUSE I SAID SO!
I let Nic have a say when he was unhappy with my decisions. Hey, he had a right to tell me how he felt. But, I only let him complain so long before I told him there was a difference between sharing his feelings with me and annoying me…and he just crossed that line. He eventually learned that his arguing with me did not translate into me negotiating with him. Sometimes, I just walked away from him after I exercised my parental duties and privilege. As far as I was concerned, the topic was discussed, decided and closed.
You couldn’t be more right about this. It makes sense to have these restrictions in place but as soon as our kids pick up on the inconsistencies we’re going to be in trouble. Luckily my boys haven’t started pointing it out. I’m not looking forward to that day. I don’t want to pull “cause I’m the parent, that’s why” excuse, but I’m sure at some point it’s going to happen. We’ve earned it though right? Especially a little privacy now and then.