When Do Kids Outgrow the Poop and Play Phase?

I feel like we’ve had this conversation before…

We have had this conversation before!

Bon Voyage!

You know, the one about the poop situation. It was back in the summer. You don’t remember it? I was wearing my PJ’s and you were wearing that cute little outfit. By the way, you look great today. You know what, I bet you blocked the conversation out of your memory. Let’s be honest here, no one wants to imagine that their child would ever consider doing something so horrific.

Before nap time, Moanna goes potty and puts on a Pull-Up. All necessary precautions are taken to avoid any and all incidences. However, all of the planning and preparing in the world does not stop a two and a half year old from playing with her poop. She is on a mission, and it is going to happen.

Why? Who knows? Is she punishing me for making her nap when she’d rather not? Seriously, what goes on in a child’s mind when they decide to play with poop? Don’t they remember how miserable it is when the fun is over?

ARGHHHH!

About a half an hour after laying her down, Moanna was still awake talking to herself. I thought maybe laying her back down and covering her up again would remind her that it was nap time. I opened the door, and saw my sweet little girl holding a giant ball of green poop. Not just green poop, green poop that had begun to crust over because she had been playing with it for so long.

Good bye quiet afternoon. Good bye sanity.

Instant surge in blood pressure. There are few things that make me lose my calm mommy voice, but poop is one of them. Poop belongs in the potty and that is it.

“Moanna! This is not how big girls behave. You poop in the potty. Now instead of playing outside this afternoon, we are going to spend the afternoon scrubbing you and your bed. DON’T TOUCH ME! DO NOT TOUCH ME!”

When we enter a poop situation, I know that I am anything but reasonable or rational with Moanna. Today was no exception. I repeated how upset I was with her about fifty times. By the end of it, she probably thought that I had lost all of my marbles- all of them. The entire time I was scrubbing her down, I was lecturing her. The entire time I was scrubbing her crib, I was lecturing her. The entire time I was dressing her, I was lecturing her. This is not the kind of Mommy I like to be, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Just when Moanna thought I was done with my ranting, I called Daddy. I wanted Moanna to know that Daddy did not care for poop situations either. It was the conversation with Daddy that made me realize that my lectures and irrational ranting was a waste of time.

Daddy, “Moanna, what did you do?”

Mo, “I pooped in my bed?”

Daddy, “Why?

Mo, “Why cause, that’s what babies do?”

Daddy, “Are you a baby?”

Mo, “No. I’m a big girl.”

Daddy, “If you’re a big girl, then why did you poop in your bed?”

Mo. “Why cause, I’m Moanna.”

That was it. That was when I knew that no matter how much I lectured or threatened, it wouldn’t matter. I could turn green and grow an extra head, and Moanna would not be phased. If she felt the need to poop in her bed and play with it, she would. This is one battle that I can’t win. I just have to wait for her to outgrow the poop and play phase. I just hope it ends soon. My sanity can’t afford to lose too many more afternoons to poop.

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