Ugly Words
“Mommy, you’re ugly.”
WHAT!?
I was just as shocked as you are.
We had some friends over for dinner the other night when Moanna stood up from the table and said, “Mommy, you’re ugly.” We all dropped our forks and stopped chewing.
What did she just say? Where did she learn that? Does she know what it means? Does she know that it’s a mean word?
When we asked her where she learned this word, she said she learned it at school. That is, where she says she learns all of her bad behavior and naughty words. She doesn’t go to school. She is making a very strong case to be home schooled. If all she learns at “school” is how to be the bad kid, then I don’t want her to go near a school, nor will she go near a bus – that’s where they learn the really bad stuff.
She also said, “Shut up Daddy,” to Steve the other day.
She learned that at “school” too.
If you ask her where she learned one of her cute phrases or something brilliant, she never says “school.” She says, Nanny, PopPop, Grandma, Grandpa, Nursery, Mommy, Daddy, friend…
This means one of two things. One, she doesn’t want to tell on someone for teaching her something bad. Or, two, she is surrounded by people that love her and want to teach her the wonderful things about life. I’m leaning towards number two because I know that she is surrounded by great people.
Home schooling it is. Case closed.
“School,” If I ever find out who you are be prepared to visit the principal’s office because I have no problem being a tattle-tale.
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School is such a bad influence. *lol* When my daughter was three she came into the kitchen, smacked my butt and started singing, “I like big butts and I cannot lie, I like them big, I like them chunky”. *omg* My husband lost it, he was laughing so hard he had tears and I was just stunned.
Thanks Shrek & Donkey!
I learned somewhere that when kids say bad things or use bad words you aren’t supposed to react strongly because it encourages them to use the same words again simply for the shock value. Rather than ask where she learned such things, ask her why in a normal tone of voice “why do you think I’m ugly”? You might discover she doesn’t even know what it means. If not, that gives you an opportunity to explain the meaning and how hurtful it is and it isn’t something used in your home. If she repeats the offense or knew it was wrong in the first place, that calls for a few minutes on the naughty chair. If you think about all the people in your life and how they talk, you can probably figure out where she learns what she learns and remind them of the influence they have on little ones. Don’t forget to think about what you might say you don’t think she’s picking up on either. Kids are sponges. I know some kids who were home schooled. Their parents wanted to shelter them from the evils of the world. They’ve grown into very unhappy, anti-social young adults for the most part. Others are absolute rebellious delinquents. They don’t have many friends and they don’t know how to handle the stuff in the world they were sheltered from. They were kept isolated their entire childhoods and all those skills kids develop when they interact with others, these home-schooled kids never learned. It’s a tough call to make. Depends on whether you have time to devote to home-schooling and the opportunities outside of public school for your kids to make friends and develop social habits. When she says she learns things at “school”, ask her where school is! Again, don’t react negatively…or she’ll clam up. If she thinks you aren’t disturbed, she’ll feel much freer to blab whatever you want to know!
Renee!
I’m hoping its just a stage. We all know there are worse things in the newspaper these days…
We all went to public school and survived! I wouldn’t deny her that fun just yet
Oh no! You’re entering that stage. My son has started to call me “Big Mama”. It’s like he’s a trucker. It’s amazing how they pick things up.
i love you renee!
You better intercept this “school” right away. Those are not the words the young must learn, though she may not understand what it means, she might carry those words as a habit. It’s freakin’ shocking.
I’m not school…..
Well, I’m not nor was ever a “very unhappy, anti-social young adult”, nor was I an “absolute rebellious delinquent”. I had lots of friends and had no trouble going out into the world I was sheltered from, and all of my home schooled friends had about the same experience.
So if you want to home school, trust me…There’s just as many if not more kids in public school who are “very unhappy anti-social rebellious delinquents” as there are at home, so don’t be afraid of it.
Honestly; where would she learn such phrases???? I vote for TV. Even the ’so called’ kids programs can be full of things you do not want your child to say. Got to agree with Jill. Shock value is great for kids. It makes them feel powerful that they can get a reaction out of their parents. They probably don’t have a clue as to what it means. But, you are right to explain how some things are very hurtful when said to people and it should not be done. Good luck honey. You absoulutely have a very precious, very smart little girl there and she is learning every day and some of it is definitely what you don’t want her to know…..but there is a lot of ‘crap’ out there and she and you will learn how to deal with it. I am confident that you and Steve will be the best parents!!! When she is out of your control, she needs to learn to recgonize and deal with the ‘crap’. Mother’s instincts are to cocoon their precious children but ultimately, they need to learn to cope in the outside world. Not at 2 years old but it is definitely a learning experience for their later years. OMG….I need to get off my soap box.
Grandma aka GIGI
p.s. i totally have to retract my statement about babe knocking nicely on the bathroom door…not a half hour after i wrote that i went and there was much banging and freaking out:)
Glad things turned out well for you, Jess, and you make a very strong case for your opinion. You did say the key phrase though “other home schooled friends”. Obviously, you weren’t home schooled to keep you isolated and that was the point I was trying to make which I apparently failed to do. My observation was about people I know who are a mess because they were homeschooled for no other reason than to completely withdraw them rather than simply shelter them. I’m sorry I offended you if you got the impression I thought all you homeschooled people are damaged.