Where is Mo?

I’m working on The Miscarriage – Part 4: To the OR, but I thought you may like a quick update on what Moanna has been up to.

Moanna has become a little girl in the past month. Unfortunately, the circumstances have forced her to mature a bit, and I hate that. I hate anything that makes a child have to grow up any sooner than needed.

She has spent some time with my mom, and several nights at Nanny and PopPop’s. I’m not allowed to pick her up, so I can’t be alone with her. I can’t put her to bed. I can’t pick her up when she falls down. It even hurts if she sits on my lap the wrong way. When Steve is not here, or someone can sit with me, we have to send Moanna to someone that can take care of her.

We realized that this got to be a little too much for her to handle when she started to digress on her potty training. Prior to my miscarriage and everything that followed, she had maybe one accident a week. She began to have several accidents a day when she was at home. I know it’s because we have interrupted her schedule completely, and she is freaked out that mommy can’t hold her or play with her. It’s got to be hard on a child to see their parents behaving in ways that they have never seen before.

It got to be too much for me to handle when she looked at me one day after church and said, “Mommy, you look sick. Let me put you to bed.” She grabbed my hand, walked me to my room and helped cover me up. I cried myself to sleep. I should be the one putting her down for a nap, not the other way around.

After a few weeks of trying to juggle Moanna around, and my recovery taking way longer than it should, we decided it would be best if Moanna spent a few weeks in Maryland with Steve’s parents.

I know, it seems like she just got home from a trip to Maryland. And, yes it may seem controversial to unload your child for awhile. However, Steve and I talked a lot. It was not a casual decision. We feel that it is best for Moanna to be in a stable and happy environment while I recover. She will not have to see Mommy sick, and will not have to be tossed from home-to-home. Moanna will be doing many happy things (camping, cooking, playing etc.), while I recover without feeling guilty for not taking care of her.

To kick off her stay in Maryland, Moanna got her ears pierced. Yes, Steve and I gave the green light on the ear piercing, just no hair cuts.