Reflections – August 2009

As you may recall, at the end of July, I was very hesitant to begin my August. To some degree those cold feet were justified, but for the most part August was OK. Now that this month is half over, it is hard to reflect back on August. It’s all a bit hazy, clouded by September. I will do my best to look back at August without allowing recent events to alter my memories too much.

August began, and I was still enjoying my first “real” vacation since beginning my current job over a year and a half ago. Sure, I’d had a few days off hear and there, but they were spent scurrying to get ready for a holiday or our wedding, or they were spent sick. This is the first time I had two weeks off uninterrupted – almost. I spent that time embracing the opportunity to rest, reflect and clean my home. I began crying days before I had to return to work. That is how much I enjoyed cooking, couponing, shopping and cleaning for my family. I was not ready to leave my stay-at-home fantasy and return to my corporate self.

Moanna spent the first few weeks of August in Maryland with Steve’s parents. She came home with longer hair, manners, no binki and doing a great job on the potty. I swear, we are going to send her up there when she is three or four and she is going to come home with a cellphone and training-bra. She changes so much in just a few weeks time.

With Mo gone, Steve and I were able to spend guiltless time together. We went on a couple of great dates, and conquered a few big projects at home. It was nice to do grownup things wihtout feeling guilty for not spending that free time with the munchkin.

On August 21, Steve and I went in opposite directions for the weekend. Steve headed to Maryland to pick up Mo, and to spend some time with his parents. He sent me a text message late that night that said, “Moanna has not stopped talking since I walked in the door.” I wonder where she got that from? STEVE. I headed South to Chapel Hill to attend Johanna’s wedding (I call her Jodi – it is lovingly short for Johanna Dits). My senior year of high school she took me on her family vacation to Hawaii. It is by far one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and where Moanna’s   name comes from. Moanna means ocean in Hawaiian.  She is one of my best friends, and it was so great to spend the day celebrating with her and her family.

On a sad note. Mid August, Steve and I found out that I was pregnant. We were excited to know that our family was growing. However, just over a week later I had a miscarriage (the bad day I have referred to a few times in recent posts). Amazingly enough, we were not devastated in the way we both imagined we would be when put in this situation. We are sad, but accept it as part of God’s plan. I am still dealing with physical complications from the miscarriage, but I promise to share the whole story when things start to calm down.

Thankfully, a few days after the miscarriage, we were able to spend the last weekend of August with family. On Saturday, we went to the Lexington Community Festival where we met up with my Mom and youngest brother, Evan. It was nice to get out of the house for a few hours and be around people and sunshine. The next day, my very Greek Dad and his wife Janet came to visit. We had not seen them since December, just before Dad’s liver transplant. It was the first time Pappous and Yiayia (Grandpa and Grandma in Greek)  really had the chance to spend time with Moanna. Pappous was very excited that he and Mo were able to play with dump trucks and race cars instead of dolls and makeup.

Despite our loss, we truly feel blessed that August allowed us to spend quality time with family and friends. We were given the opportunity to realize what is really important to us, and what this life is all about. It may seem like a set back, but ultimately August has pushed us forward and closer together.

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