Bye Bye Binky

Quickly after Moanna’s return home from her extended vacation in Maryland, we began to notice a lof of new tricks, habits and quirks. She is till Moanna, but she is now Moanna to the tenth degree. She is a bit more sassy, a lot more talkative and turning out to be very stubborn or determined (depending on your perspective). She has also picked up some good manners, goes potty by herself, is open to a few more foods and does not ask to watch TV as often. She is still a love bug, still wants to go outside all the time and still wants all of your attention exactly when she wants it. Like I said,  she is Moanna but to the tenth degree.

One of the biggest changes that came home with Moanna was the lack of a binky. That is right, no binky. For anyone that has had to take a binky away from their child, you know this is an exciting milestone but the process of dreadful. I can tell you that detaching Moanna from her binky has not been easy, and it has taken a couple of trys for it to stick.

We began attempting to ditch the binky probably a year ago. We started limiting it to just naptime and bedtime. Then Moanna would have a cold or sprout a tooth, and to keep her from being completly miserable we’d give her the binky to bring her comfort. Yes, the binky gave us comfort too. I have no shame in admitting that there have been times that I have handed Moanna a binky to save myself from having a breakdown. As parents, you do what you have to do to get through a really rough day.

Moanna came home from her previous trip to Maryland binky free as well. We were prepped by Grandma Annette and Papa Bob that Moanna had not had a binky in quite some time, so I ran around the house hunting for all of the binkies that Mo had hidden for emergencies. I bagged them up and threw them in the back of my closet.

The first few days were not awful, but she did cry for them at night. Then she started to get sick, and wanted the binky more and more. I was also sick and wanted a binky. A few days into our misery of this illness, Moanna started to get very sick. She was not breathing well, she could not sleep, she didn’t want to eat or drink anything, she was pitiful. Finally, after she and I cried and coughed for over an hour, I gave in.  I was having flashbacks from a year ago when she was life-flighted to a hospital because her oxygen levels were too low. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I wanted her to find some form of comfort while this virus was setting up camp in her tiny body. I knew that until she relaxed and got some rest, she would not gain the strength to reclaim her health. I did feel a bit of defeat when I tore into that bag and whipped out a binky, but within seconds of popping the binky in her mouth Moanna drifted off to sleep. She was a new girl when she woke up, and my defeat felt like victory.

We allowed her to keep the binky for naps and bedtime. We didn’t feel that it would be fair to yo-yo on the binky and confuse her. At the time, we were also focused on pottying and did not want to disrupt any part of her routine for fear of setbacks. Call it weak if you want, but there is only so much you can take on at a time with a toddler. If you throw too much at them, they will win, and you will find yourself holding up a white flag.

When Steve came home last Sunday with Mo, he told me that Sam (Grandma and Grandpa’s cat) had thrown the binky in the trash. Wink, wink. He told me that Moanna was fine with it, and she had not asked for it the entire weekend he was in Maryland to visit with his parents before returning home with Moanna. I was not fully convinced, but when bedtime came she happily went to bed and never even mentioned the binky. Good job, Sam.

Tuesday Moanna, and my little brother, Evan, were playing in her room, when Moanna found a binky under her bed. If you recall, I cleaned every corner of that child’s room, so I have no idea how that sneaky thing hid so well. She came out of her room with a binky in her mouth and tears in her eyes. At first she did not want to give it up, and Steve and I looked at each other like, “What are we supposed to do?” Thankfully, my mom, Grandma Kelly, responded quickly. Grandma Kelly explained that to Mo that her binky was like an old friend that you don’t want to give up, but sometimes outgrow. She convinced Moanna that we should put the binky up high where she couldn’t reach it, but could always see it. I didn’t think Moanna would buy it; I was worried that we may have to send Moanna back to Maryland for Sam to throw that binky in the trash too, but Moanna handed over the binky. We hung the binky on a hook high in our living room, and Moanna hasn’t asked for it once.

Thank heavens for grandparents and Sam.

I think the difference between this time and previous attempts at taking the binky away was that this time Moanna was ready. She came home from Maryland a bit more grown up, a bit more independent and a bit more confident. Something inside her turned, and she was ready to be a big girl. I think it is true for all of us, until we are ready, really ready, to let go of something or start the next phase of life, until something inside us turns, we are not going to make the changes in our life that are going to move us forward and push our boundaries. It takes confidence and independence to make big girl moves.

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