Constipation Procalamation and Other Potty Adventures with The Two-Year-Old

Why didn’t anyone tell me that even at the joyous age of two I would still be talking about… no obsessed with… Moanna’s potty habits! I totally get that when there is a new baby 1/3 of your conversations concerning your new child revolves around poop, pee, diapers and more poop (the other 2/3 is food and sleep). Especially if you are breast feeding, the lactation consultant is going to want to know every detail about input versus output.  How-Ever, we are two years down the road and the poop and pee are still the bane of my parental existence!

When we began switching Moanna from breast milk to formula, she immediately started having problems with constipation. We tried every formula brand under the sun. Nothing helped. It was so bad that we would have to help her poop. Probably one of the least glamorous sides of being a parent, and the one NO ONE is comfortable talking about. No one wants to tell the stories that they had to do the same thing for their child when they had problems, BUT they are all more than willing to tell you that your approach is wrong and that you should try this or that. I’m telling you for the five-hundredth time, we have tried it, and it is NOT WORKING! In fact, we are still battling the constipation today. She’ll do fine for a few days, and then she needs help. We have given her children’s laxatives, milk of magnesia, corn syrup, mineral oil and we’ve tried altering her diet. All of these methods have brought us no such luck. When it gets really uncomfortable she is grumpy, doesn’t want to eat, and you can forget trying to talk her into using the potty. She thinks it’s the potty’s fault that it hurts so much! Who can blame her?

When we are not benched by constipation, we are close to going pro on the potty training, very close! We have been playing the game off-and-on for about a year now. We didn’t start taking it seriously until this spring, before then we were just amateurs. The most successful tactic  (well it’s quite opposite from a tactic)  is what we call the “Tic-Tac Method.” Every time Moanna goes potty she gets Tic-Tac’s as a reward. I’m sure doctors and therapists will tell me that I’m setting myself up for disaster down the road. They will say that she will expect stuff in return for doing a good job instead of just taking pride in doing a good job. And you know dentists will have something to say about it too. “All that sugar is not good for young teeth.” Well professionals, I have found it to be very effective and less damaging than chocolate or other treats, and she has fresh breath!

Now that we have the “Tic-Tac Method” in full use, the challenge is to get Mo to tell us when she needs to go. We have to remind her to go potty, or we end up scrubbing the carpets and doing laundry. Every now and then she will tell us before she goes, but mostly she tells us that she has to go potty just after the fact. As messy as it may be, I’m thinking of just letting her do her thing for a few days, and maybe she will start putting the pieces together. I’m hoping she will start to recognize the feelings before she pees, and can get to the potty on time. If there is a way to intensify the feeling of needing to go potty so that it is easier for little ones to get to the potty on time that would awesome. And, I’m not talking about something that tells them they have to go mid-piddle. It needs to alert them pre-piddle.  Something like musical underwear comes to mind. It’s time to potty, it plays music.

Another thing I’m dying to know, and no one is willing to give me an answer (probably because the answer is too scary to say out loud), is when do I finally get to start going to the bathroom by myself? I can’t remember the last time I’ve gone in total peace. Moanna wants to be right there in the action. If I manage to sneak in and close the door before she sees me, you can bet that she is beating the thing down and removing it from it’s hinges. It’s not like I went to the park without her! It is just the potty, and it is just for a minute, and I don’t even get a Tic-Tac for going!

Shadow Puppets

My daughter is literally afraid of her own shadow! Yes, you read that correctly, afraid of her own shadow. I had no idea that this was a possible phenomenon. That was until yesterday when Moanna was jumping in her trampoline and declared that “Something scared me!” I get up from the computer to see if there may be a bug or something remotely legitimate to be afraid of. I see nothing, so I sit back down. A minute later I hear the the same little, “Something scared me!” only this time she was clutching her fists to her chests and standing as close to the net of her trampoline as possible. Again, I get up to see what she is so afraid of. I ask her what is scaring her, and she points to the mat of the trampoline. I see nothing. “Moanna there is nothing there.” She looks at me like I’m insane and points again. I give her the same look in return. She points and says, “Mommy, something scares me!” Finally, I get it! She is scared of her shadow! Her shadow! I am shocked; it takes everything out of me not to let her see that I am fully entertained by her fear.

This is not the only thing that has made my big girl seem teeny tiny.  It seems that she is going through a backwards phase of losing her desire to be independent.

She is no longer interested in feeding herself even though she has been feeding herself for almost a year now.  Now she says that she can’t do it and that she wants us to feed her. She even wants us to hold her cups for her like she is a little baby drinking milk. I do not get where all of this is coming from!

At times, when she is watching a movie, she does not want to  be by herself. She wants us to sit with her, and not just in the same room. She wants us to be right there next to her so that she can use us to prop her feet on us, or for us to completely hold her. I love snuggling and holding her, but the only time we really let her sit down and watch TV is if there is something that we need to get done like cooking dinner or folding laundry.  Well, yes, we let her watch TV sometimes so that we can just breathe and have a little time to decompress.

She has also decided that she “can’t” do things that she is a pro at. We would rather her use every four letter word in the English, Spanish and French languages than use the phrase, “I can’t do it.” I used to make my dance students do push-ups for that kind of offense! Don’t worry it did not scar them, and some of them are spending the summer at very prestigious dance camps. It burns me up that she thinks she can’t do something. She “can’t” carry her water cup, she “can’t” feed herself, she “can’t” find her shoes. I “can’t” stand it!

Part of me really eats up the fact that she wants me hold her and protect her from her own  shadow. It makes me melt a little because I know she is growing so fast. Soon she will want boys to watch TV with her, and she will want us no where to be seen! Steve just started hyperventilating, and searching for padlocks to secure all windows and doors with the mention of boys, Moanna and TV all in the same sentence. Another part of me has no idea what do with a two year old infant! I am sure everyone will say it is a normal part of growing up (Hey, I still go through phases like that! Sometimes I’d rather sleep all day then be a responsible adult), and that it will pass soon. Still,  I’m wondering if there is anything that Steve or I have done that could have brought this on. Maybe, she picks up on the fact that we want to have another baby soon, so she is trying to get all of the butlering out of us that she possibly can! Interesting…

P.S.
She is also currently afraid of imaginary snakes in her crib, black cats, wind blowing the curtains, and did I mention her own shadow?