Bon Voyage
Today we sent Moanna to Maryland for her two-week trip with Steve’s parents. She is going to have more fun in one day of her vacation than I am in the entire two weeks that she is gone. It’s not because I am going to spend my days crying over a pint of ice cream while she is out gallivanting. It is because while she is out shopping, camping, going to water parks and watching baseball games, I will be at home. Overwhelmed with long to-do lists that include: cleaning out the fridge, rearranging the kitchen cabinets, filing old bills, writing thank you cards… you get the idea. I won’t have an excuse for not completing them because Moanna is not here to neglect. They will have to get done. This is my, “I’d rather take a nap face.”
I am 95% thrilled that she will not be eating TUMS while I am neglecting her for the next two weeks. You probably think I am an awful mother for not missing her Wee One while she is gone. That’s OK because I know I am a much better mother when Moanna leaves for a while so that I can regroup, re-prioritize, and take very long uninterrupted naps.
I will admit that roughly 5% of me is weepy. I will miss watching her put her toys in time out, her excitement when I tell her that I have a surprise for her, and snuggling with her before bed. I will not in the least bit miss what I was greeted with yesterday after her nap…
Yesterday morning Moanna and I went to the park to have a picnic, fly a kite and run around like animals released from captivity. We played, and we played. We even went to two different parks. My theory was to wear her out so that she would take a good nap and wake up refreshed. The day before she took a pathetic excuse for a nap and woke up in a “someone peed in my cereal” mood.
It worked. She napped. She napped long and hard. About four hours into her nap, I was beginning to wonder if she had escaped her crib and jumped out of the window to return to the park. At about four hours and twenty minutes my very peaceful afternoon hit the fan.
I hear a very sweet little voice calling for me. “Mommy. I’m awake.” I extract myself from the depths of my couch and unclench the remote to rescue Moanna from her crib. As I reach for the doorknob I am overcome by this horrible, reeking smell of poop. Right then, I should have pretended that I didn’t hear her and returned to the couch because I knew that it was only going to get worse by opening the door.
I opened the door, and there she was, and there was her poop. Everywhere. “I pooped Mommy,” she says like she just got an A on her term paper. NO FREAKING KIDDING. All I could say was, “Do NOT touch anything.” It took everything out of me not to toss her into the yard and hose her down. I spent the better part of two hours cleaning Moanna and her crib. I even had to clean the bathroom after cleaning Moanna because she TOUCHED stuff. Her room still smells slightly of poo. Sanitizer and air freshener are no match for toddler poop.
THAT is why I am 95% tickled pink that Moanna will be gone for two weeks.
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hey, Alexys did that once or twice with the poop, yuck, no kidding, we need to get together soon, getting busy b/c fall camps are starting- but we can still try
oh my…we had a poo incident a while back, but it didn’t nearly that long to clean up…i do no envy you. but i’m with you, and i love how you’ve put it “tickled pink” to step away from the baby (or toddler, really).
I don’t think there is a Mother alive who has not had similar experiences with their child. “Love you so very much but I wish I could run away for a while”
When your Mom started kindergarten, I jumped for joy when she got on the school bus because it meant I would have a whole 3 hours to myself. The very next day my neighbor wanted to take her with her to run errands. After they pulled out of the driveway, I freaked out and went after them. My neighbor thought I was nuts. The Cuban missile crisis was in full crisis mode and I had to have my little girl with me….Not logical I know but what Mother is logical? Also, every Mother has a poop story. Can’t remember if it was Jill or Kelly but one of them decided it would make real cool wallpaper. I miss Moanna already….GIGI
I had a very artistic little girl who would do the same thing EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT.
The only funny poop story I remember is when our grandson, Antonio, came for a visit. He was still in diapers. We live in the woods so we all thought it would be grand for this city kid to run about our private yard naked like all the animals he saw for the first time. He loved it. However, when he walked up on the deck where we were watching him, he simply squatted and pooped a big old pile (just like the animals do, too). He couldn’t figure out why everyone was laughing so hard.
[...] Bon Voyage! [...]