The Gateway…

If you recall, last week Moanna ate a bottle of TUMS Smoothies. If you don’t recall, please refer to A Knock Knock Joke, and get yourself up-to-speed. You will need it to wrap yourself around the wayward toddler I am raising!

Evidently, the bottle of TUMS Smoothies was the gateway for Moanna to experiment with other substances because last night she shoved a Tic-Tac up her nose! Every time she uses the potty, Mo gets two Tic-Tacs, and she eats them one-by-one. Until last night this had been working beautifully.  I  guess eating them no longer satisfied her, and instead, she felt the need to try them via nasal cavity!

There is really no need in giving you a review of our many failed attempts to remove the Tic-Tac while our Chinese takeout waited so long at the restaurant that the owner called to remind us to come get our food! Just know that we fully succeeded in pushing the gosh-darn thing further up the nostril. After watching the Tic-Tac disappear into the black hole, we resorted to the Internet for answers and support groups. We learned the following:

1. A lot of children have done this.

2. the uncontrollable runny nose is normal – gross, but normal.

3. If the Tic-Tac won’t come out,  it will dissolve or get sucked down their throat.

4. if the nasty nose continues for a long period of time, or your child complains of nostril discomfort, you are stuck telling, yet-again, another embarrassing story to your family doctor!

5. There are no support groups for parents like us. We are hopeless!

Moanna appears to be doing just fine today. We may have sidestepped the pointing and laughing this time, but what’s next? Last week, she was eating over-the-counter medication by the fists full! This week, she is snorting sugar! I wouldn’t be surprised to find her doing body shots of high fructose corn syrup next week!

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