Bon Voyage
Today we sent Moanna to Maryland for her two-week trip with Steve’s parents. She is going to have more fun in one day of her vacation than I am in the entire two weeks that she is gone. It’s not because I am going to spend my days crying over a pint of ice cream while she is out gallivanting. It is because while she is out shopping, camping, going to water parks and watching baseball games, I will be at home. Overwhelmed with long to-do lists that include: cleaning out the fridge, rearranging the kitchen cabinets, filing old bills, writing thank you cards… you get the idea. I won’t have an excuse for not completing them because Moanna is not here to neglect. They will have to get done. This is my, “I’d rather take a nap face.”
I am 95% thrilled that she will not be eating TUMS while I am neglecting her for the next two weeks. You probably think I am an awful mother for not missing her Wee One while she is gone. That’s OK because I know I am a much better mother when Moanna leaves for a while so that I can regroup, re-prioritize, and take very long uninterrupted naps.
I will admit that roughly 5% of me is weepy. I will miss watching her put her toys in time out, her excitement when I tell her that I have a surprise for her, and snuggling with her before bed. I will not in the least bit miss what I was greeted with yesterday after her nap…
Yesterday morning Moanna and I went to the park to have a picnic, fly a kite and run around like animals released from captivity. We played, and we played. We even went to two different parks. My theory was to wear her out so that she would take a good nap and wake up refreshed. The day before she took a pathetic excuse for a nap and woke up in a “someone peed in my cereal” mood.
It worked. She napped. She napped long and hard. About four hours into her nap, I was beginning to wonder if she had escaped her crib and jumped out of the window to return to the park. At about four hours and twenty minutes my very peaceful afternoon hit the fan.
I hear a very sweet little voice calling for me. “Mommy. I’m awake.” I extract myself from the depths of my couch and unclench the remote to rescue Moanna from her crib. As I reach for the doorknob I am overcome by this horrible, reeking smell of poop. Right then, I should have pretended that I didn’t hear her and returned to the couch because I knew that it was only going to get worse by opening the door.
I opened the door, and there she was, and there was her poop. Everywhere. “I pooped Mommy,” she says like she just got an A on her term paper. NO FREAKING KIDDING. All I could say was, “Do NOT touch anything.” It took everything out of me not to toss her into the yard and hose her down. I spent the better part of two hours cleaning Moanna and her crib. I even had to clean the bathroom after cleaning Moanna because she TOUCHED stuff. Her room still smells slightly of poo. Sanitizer and air freshener are no match for toddler poop.
THAT is why I am 95% tickled pink that Moanna will be gone for two weeks.
In Spite of the Rain
Based on the high volume of work Steve and I have been doing this summer, it has been challenging to squeeze in summer fun. So when we do have the opportunity to make plans, we dare anything to get in our way!
We had been planning on going to the Safari Park for a week. Last Monday when we woke up for our big adventure, we were greeted by a rainy day! I thought I was going to have the same meltdown I had when we missed the fireworks in Disney World because we were stuck on a stupid ride! At least that time I had an excuse for crying like a baby for half an hour; I was pregnant. Steve did not give me time to have a meltdown. He got us ready, and out of the door. After the fireworks episode at the “Happiest Place on Earth” he doesn’t stand for any disappointment getting in the way of seeing Moanna and I happy! I love him!
By the power of prayer, we had a great day! It remained cloudy, but only rained when we were inside the Giraffe Feeding Barn, and when we were in our car feeding the animals. When we were touring the walking portion of the park, the rain stopped for us!
As you can see some of the animals were not shy about taking what they wanted!
Steve did not grow up in a farming community, so he was not raised around a lot of livestock, nor is he used to seeing many animals in the wild. Needless to say he squealed a few times, and said some naughty words!
We waited for more than a half an hour for the giraffe to let us feed him. He was being totally unreasonable! I made many bargains, and did some of my best giraffe flirting! I was NOT leaving until I got his number!
Check out those stripes! Those teeth! Those horns!
Moanna was perfectly happy feeding the goats, but when it came to feeding the animals in the car, it was a totally different story! This picture was literally taken at the end of the day. We were on our way out of the gate, and this very calm fellow (Moanna called the animals “fellow” all day) came up to the car, and she went for it!
We laughed more at the Safari Park than we have laughed in a very long time! Watching each other interacting with the animals was a riot! The only thing funnier than Moanna looking at the flamingos and screaming, “CHICKENS,” is watching your husband trying to talk the ostrich into getting out of the car!
About time! About done!
I can’t say that I am 100% content with the About page. However, I am happy enough to consider it “done”… for now.
The Gateway…
If you recall, last week Moanna ate a bottle of TUMS Smoothies. If you don’t recall, please refer to A Knock Knock Joke, and get yourself up-to-speed. You will need it to wrap yourself around the wayward toddler I am raising!
Evidently, the bottle of TUMS Smoothies was the gateway for Moanna to experiment with other substances because last night she shoved a Tic-Tac up her nose! Every time she uses the potty, Mo gets two Tic-Tacs, and she eats them one-by-one. Until last night this had been working beautifully. I guess eating them no longer satisfied her, and instead, she felt the need to try them via nasal cavity!
There is really no need in giving you a review of our many failed attempts to remove the Tic-Tac while our Chinese takeout waited so long at the restaurant that the owner called to remind us to come get our food! Just know that we fully succeeded in pushing the gosh-darn thing further up the nostril. After watching the Tic-Tac disappear into the black hole, we resorted to the Internet for answers and support groups. We learned the following:
1. A lot of children have done this.
2. the uncontrollable runny nose is normal – gross, but normal.
3. If the Tic-Tac won’t come out, it will dissolve or get sucked down their throat.
4. if the nasty nose continues for a long period of time, or your child complains of nostril discomfort, you are stuck telling, yet-again, another embarrassing story to your family doctor!
5. There are no support groups for parents like us. We are hopeless!
Moanna appears to be doing just fine today. We may have sidestepped the pointing and laughing this time, but what’s next? Last week, she was eating over-the-counter medication by the fists full! This week, she is snorting sugar! I wouldn’t be surprised to find her doing body shots of high fructose corn syrup next week!
Gratitude 07.17.2009
Today, I am grateful for surprise visits from friends who come when you really need someone to talk to.
This afternoon Moanna and I were playing outside, and I thought, “wow our grass really needs cut. I hope Steve asked the lawn guy (a good friend of ours, Chris) to come soon.” Within half an hour of that thought, he showed up to mow our lawn. Later that evening, I learned that Chris hadn’t heard from Steve recently about the grass, but he could see the lawn really needed to be mowed. What a blessing!
Later, Marie (Chris’s wife) knocked on my door – just to say hi. I didn’t know it until we sat down, but I really needed to talk, and she was the perfect person for what was on my mind. We spent the next three hours talking as our children played; Chris joined us after he finished the lawn.
The more we talked, the more our conversation zoned in on what my soul was searching for. Marie and Chris said all the things I needed to hear, and they did it without me telling them what was weighing on me so heavily.
I am truly thankful for friends that just stop in to say hi.
Playing with Pages
I am slowly learning how to blog with the help of Steve and his HTML talents. I know, I think I know, how I want my blog to look, but getting the Internet to do what I tell it to is not working out so well. It’s a long process of trial and error and stiff necks.
Today, I began playing around with “Pages.” I wanted to add a page that chronicles all of the old Photo Frame pictures that are featured in the header. I almost have the page looking the way I want it to, for now. When Steve advances his knowledge of Internet manipulation, I will push it to the next level.
The next big step that I have been avoiding is writing my “About Page.” There is something absolutely petrifying about summing up: who you are, what you have done with your life, who the important people are in your life, what has shaped your life and what traumatizing events have made you mildly to moderately insane. How, exactly, is anyone supposed to define their entire existence in a simple five paragraph essay? Just thinking about it makes me want to nap! Maybe tomorrow, I ‘ll have a better understand of what I’m ”About.”
Moanna is PMSing
I think, I remember why I wanted to have all boys. For a long time, I thought what I originally believe about little girls was all wrong. I actually believed they were these sweet, little, giggling, happy children. Thankfully, I have been whipped back into shape, and reminded that little girls are sassy pants, moody creatures from time-to-time, and age does NOT matter! If you thought you would not have to deal with PMSing mood swings until your daughter hit puberty, you were wrong. I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you, but someone has to warn you!
I have had this funny little feeling off-and-on from the time Moanna was born that her bad mood days were my fault. I always pushed it off, and thought, No way, I am not taking responsibility for this.” I can’t deny it any longer. Through some strange female osmosis Moanna soaks up my hormones and throws them back in my face, and she’s been doing it since she was an infant! It’s the same osmosis that put you and your roommate on the same lunar calendar when you were in college – you know what I’m talking about. Evil!
I always know when I’m about to start my period because Moanna starts to get moody and bossy. Most of the time she is a very cheerful child, but when she picks up my PMS hormones, she morphs into this miniature 13 year-old diva! She gets sassy, refuses to compromise, and if she does not get what she wants, watch out! She will have a nuclear meltdown complete with stomping, creaming, crying and hyperventilating. You can tell me it’s just “terrible-two’s,” but I’ve caught onto the pattern, and 95% of the time these moods come with my period.
For a few days each month Mo’ and I do not get along very well. We argue. There isn’t a lot for a two-year-old and her mom to argue about, but we manage to come up with a few things to fight about. We have no patience for each other. Sure, I should be the bigger person and let her have her way during these distressing times, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m stubborn and spiteful! So is she! We are easily frustrated, and cry a lot when we spend these days together, and thankfully take very long naps to pass the time.
It is on these days that we look forward to Steve coming home the most so he can rescue us from each other! He gets home and Mo’ and I are both like, “Thank heavens! You deal with her! I can’t take it anymore; she’s absolutely insane!” I just feel bad for the poor guy because the day is going to come. There is going to come a day when he comes home to find a 13 year-old Moanna, a wife and possibly other small girls who will all be fed up with each other’s hormones. They are all going to look at him and think, “Thank heavens! You deal with them!”
Gratitude 07.15.2009
Today I am grateful for new beginnings, the opportunities that arise when unexpected change comes about, and the amazing people that are there with you for the ride. It is my hope that I will begin to notice just how often new beginnings present themselves to me, and that I will take full advantage of the possibilities they bring to my life.
A Knock Knock Joke
Last night we had to call Poison Control for the first time, and hopefully our last time! Don’t worry this is a funny story. Let me set the scene for you…
Last night we helped some close friends and their families with their wedding yesterday. We helped decorate, keep things running smoothly and at the end of the night, we helped clean up. Since the wedding was outside at a park, there was no real way to contain Moanna. Steve decided the safest place for her was locked in our car. I know, I thought it was scary too. However, Steve promised me she was completely safe – the doors were locked, the windows cracked (it was a very cool evening), the break was set and the car was locked into gear. She was not going to have her first driving lesson that night, and there was nothing in the car to hurt her either… or so we thought…
We went to go check on her, and she proudly exclaimed, “I ate the candy all gone!” PANIC! There was no candy in our car! She had opened the glove compartment and eaten every last TUMS Smoothie in the bottle that we keep in the car! It was instant feeling of, “Oh wow, we are awful parents!” Oh, by-the-way, keep in mind, there are other people around us. They too instantly get the wave of, “Oh wow, you are awful parents.”
After our shock passes, Steve whips out his phone to call Poison Control. He has about a million contacts saved into his phone. It makes him feel important. On this occasion it was actually useful. Here is how the conversation goes…
Poison Control, “Hello, poison control.”
Steve, “Good Evening. How are you?”
PC, “Good. What can I help you with.”
Steve, “My two year old daughter ate TUMS.”
PC, “How many did she eat?”
Steve, “Moanna, how many did you eat?”
Moanna, “A whole bunch!”
Steve, “She said, a whole bunch.”
PC, “Hahaha! How many do you think were left in the bottle?”
Steve, “I think it was almost empty.”
PC, “Well, they won’t hurt her. An entire bottle can’t poison her system. She may get a belly ache. Hahahaha!”
Poison Control laughed at us!!!! Laughed at us!!!! We laughed too because it is one of those things you can either laugh about or cry about. Poison control laughed at us! I’m not sure how I feel about this. Is it ok for an emergency service to laugh at people who call in distress? It seems wrong, but then agian, it was kinda funny. They must laugh at a lot because I’m sure we’re not the only parents who have allowed their children to chow down on such a unique bedtime snack! I still can’t get over the fact that Poison Control laughed at us!
Reflections – June 2009
June is over and that means we are one month closer to the blasted winter season! We are not a winter family – in fact, if given the opportunity we would move so far South that a heavy frost would close schools down for bad weather! Until that day comes, we will embrace every breath of summer that we can find!
The month began with Moanna’s second birthday on June 4th. She was still in Maryland with Grandma Annette and Papa Bob, so we did not celebrate until Saturday. Despite the fact that Steve and I had not yet recovered from our wedding, we decided to throw Moanna a big party and serve our friends and family brunch. You would think that since I work in food service, I would be able to make the right amount of food for a party. Nope, I always over cook!
Moanna and I were able to spend some “quality time” together when we were struck with the plague! It has been quite awhile since I was that sick, and it was not fun! Moanna being so resilient was only down for about three days with this gross phlegmy thing, but I had the pleasure of being well below par for several weeks. In fact, there are still times now that I feel it trying to peak it’s slimy head around the corner. It was not the best mother-daughter bonding experience, but it was nice to get to spend all of that time snuggling with Moanna’s clammy little self. Steve, lucky dog, managed to stay healthy throughout the whole ordeal!
The newest member to our family is the hammock we bought Steve for Father’s Day. It has been a great place to unwind and enjoy the summer air. Most of our June evening’s have been spent either in the hammock or going on walks around the neighborhood. Our schedules are packed full, so we do not get to enjoy a lot of your typical summer activities like going to the zoo, swimming, picnicking or vacationing, so we try to squeeze in as much summer in the evenings as we possibly can.
In addition to traveling all over this side of Virginia for work, Steve has decided that he wants to do a triathlon with some of the guys from church. When he travels up to two hours in each direction for work, it leaves little time to train for such an athletic feat. So, he and the fellas have been working out at 6:30AM twice a week. For those of you who know Steve, this is huge because he is not the happiest morning person! So far he’s enjoying it, but man does he whine for a few days after each workout!
It has been a very crazy and hectic month. We have spent a lot of time contemplating and strategizing about our near-future goals and dreams for our family, and how those will impact our lives down the road. Now that we are finally married, we feel that we can focus on the parts of our lives that were put on hold whil
e planning for the special day. Steve and I have quickly learned that being married is totally different from being “domestic partners” (to be politically correct). We really love it, and have found that it has altered our perspectives on what we want out of life. As soon as, the wedding was over I began to feel a very strong push to be domestic (shocking I know!). I want to clean, organize, cook dinner every day and spend a lot of time with Moanna. I have really been struggling with the whole dilemma of do I keep working like a mad woman, or do I stay at home to fully take care of my family, or do I find some middle ground? For now, it is financially important for me to continue working full time.
In line with this discovery, Steve and I have recommitted ourselves to watching our budget and paying down debt. Financial freedom is one of our key values for our family, and it had been hard to keep that in focus when planning and paying for a wedding. We are trying to pay closer attention to what we spend, and put our extra cash towards debt. Steve has taken his lunch to work with him some, and when he does that really saves us a lot of money. When I have time, I am really good at playing the coupon game. We are also planning on having a yard sale before the summer is over (please let summer last forever!), and selling some of our stuff online. All of our time is spent working, eating, and sleeping so we have no time to spend any extra money! We have established that financial freedom is vital for us reach our other goals in life; the challenge is having the time to put systems into place to make sure that we stay on track.
The most exciting thing that June has brought to us is that we have decided that we are ready to expand our family! Yes, we are ready for another munchkin! We had a lot of late night conversations trying to decided when the best time to have another child was. We concluded that there is no such thing as perfect timing, and that there are always challenges to overcome no matter when you choose to have children. While there are things going in our life that are not perfect for having more children, we fully believe that our hearts and home (I did not say house! I said home!) are ready to love and take care of another child. Moanna is definitely ready to have a little brother or sister. She is probably the most ready out of all of us! She loves babies – seeing them playing with them, holding them – she can’t get enough!
We are sad to see June go so quickly, but we are highly looking foward to the possibilites of July! We hope to see our lives slow down a bit, so that we can take deeper breaths and longer walks. Maybe we’ll make it to the pool this month! We hope to have more time with family and friends, and more time to work on the goals and dreams we have set for our family. Really, we can’t wait for a day that is devoted to doing nothing!
