Swing Low Sweet
Steve’s Father’s Day present from Mo’ and I has turned out to be a treat for us
all. It is a place of serenity and stillness in our more than busy lives. It cradles us and rocks us quietly. If you catch the breeze coming from the right direction, you may even mistake yourself for being at the beach and breathing in the salty sticky ocean air. This glorious place is our new hammock.
Moanna loves to play in Daddy’s new hammock. She enjoys the snuggle and giggle time she gets to 
spend with us as we teeter back and forth. It is a place that we go to calm her down before bedtime. Spotting the many Fire Bugs that awaken as the sun goes down distracts her from the energy that she refuses to share with us even though she knows that just a shot of that cocktail will get us through the next day.
Steve and I visit the hammock almost nightly. It allows us to pretend that we are taking a quick trip to the far-away-land that we miss so much known as 
Miami. Our nightly talks in the hammock can almost be misconstrued as a date. Moanna is fast asleep. The cellphones are off. There is no T.V. There are no dishes or laundry staring us down. It is just us and the natural ambiance of the sleepy-summer-evening.
Our evenings spent in the hammock allow us to catch up on our dreams and goals for our family. We are able to calmly talk about the parts of our lives that I promise you in any other setting would quickly escalate to clinched lips and tears.
I have big plans for our hammock and family. There I plan to take great naps, and read books cover-to-cover. Moanna and I will have an afternoon snack and read the same story over and over. Steve will spend many hours talking on the phone to friends and family that are miles away, and there he will think up some of his greatest ideas. Steve and I will have dinner on the hammock, and maybe even sleep there all night when Moanna is away. Tonight, however, we will watch the Fire Bugs and dream about the next day that we get to spend together free from work and all other responsibilities.
The Tardy Slip
I applaud anyone with children who manages to be on time to anything! In fact, I think you deserve a standing ovation! A curtain call even!
Before I became a parent, it was very out-of-character for me to be late. If I was not going to make it early to class, I just didn’t go! Don’t worry, I still made the Dean’s List a time or two. I was never late to work because I waited tables before Moanna, and being late equalled less tables which meant less money. If I was ever late, it was to a club meeting, and even then it was only by a few minutes.
However, now that Moanna is along for the ride, I do not know the last time I was on time for anything! Hey, I barley made it to my own wedding on time! It does not matter where we are going, what time of day it is, who we are going to see… We can not make it out of the door on time! It does not matter how early we start getting ready, or if I pick out our cloths the night before. We could sleep in the cloths we were planning on wearing the next day, AND STILL would be late!
When it was just me, I could get ready and hit the road in ten minutes or less. I could set the alarm for an hour before I had to be at work, hit the snooze once or twice and would still have time to spare! When meeting friends for dinner, I was always the first person at the restaurant putting our name on the list. Times have changed!
This morning I had all intentions of being at work prior to our 8:00AM meeting. Moanna, saw things a little differently! Alarm goes of at 6:30AM. I snooze once or twice and then get up. Throw my outfit in the dryer, brush my teeth, wash my face, do my hair. I get Moanna out of bed, and lay her beside Daddy to wake him up while I grab her cloths. Things were going well with plenty of time to spare. The snooze goes off again because I refuse to turn off the alarm until I KNOW I am awake. Mo knows how to hit the snooze button, so she went to hop off our bed to turn it off (the alarm is on the opposite side of the room for the same reason I do not turn off the alarm until I KNOW I am awake). However, she had a miss-hop and slammed her little head into the night stand!! Oh the tears! Oh The screaming! Oh the clock is ticking! From that point on, everything went wrong. Could not talk Moanna into anything! I think what finally calmed her down was agreeing to let her take fruit snacks with her to Nanny and PopPop’s! I know it’s not the healthiest, but when you are desperate fruit snacks seem like a more than fair bargain!
I arrived to our 8:00AM managers meeting about ten minutes late. I had to give them my tardy slip (signed by Moanna), and explain to them that I had to enter into plea-bargains with my two-year-old due to her mild head trauma. Negotiations took longer than anticipated. Because I did not cave on the fruit snacks upon her first request, Moanna penalized me by making me late to work!
I love my daughter; she makes my world a better place to live in! But, oh how I miss grabbing the keys and running out of the door with ample time left on the clock. I don’t know how you Moms that are on time do it; I am awe struck by it. Ff you tell me your secrets. I am willing to give up some of my prized fruit snacks!
Stock Market Kind of Week…
The past week has been a doozy! It has had more ups and downs than a typical week on Wall Street!
Let’s pick up from the “Hmmm” episode we had last Tuesday.
Wednesday, I managed to get myself up, packed and out of the door for the business trip to Maryland. The drive there was painful and long! It only took about three hours to get there, but with each passing my mile my body began to rebel. “Must lay down, need more drugs.” – LOW
Upon arriving at our Hampton Inn in Frederick, Maryland, I was greeted by a hotel room that would be all mine for the next two nights. King size bed – ALL MINE! Flat panel TV- ALL MINE! Large bathroom – ALL MINE! No children, no husband, no errands, no email… Peace and quiet – ALL MINE! I plopped my luggage on the floor, and then plopped myself on the king size bed, and proceeded to take a very long nap! – HIGH
I spent most of Thursday networking and socializing with colleges while we worked. The day was filled with good food, and adult conversations. Seared tuna, French onion soup, grilled asparagus, sweet potatoes… no fruit snacks, no cheese crackers, no chicken nuggets! Mmm adult food! Marketing strategies, labor management, client relations… no potty training setbacks, no bedtime battles, no artwork on the walls! Mmm adult conversation! – HIGH
Friday was a new king of low! I woke up unable to talk or walk without crying. I was a ball of phlegm and sweat. I know- sexy right!? That would be a no. I was able to stay awake long enough to tell my partner-in-working-crime (Charlene), that I was dying and to pick me up before she headed back to Virginia. About an hour into our trip south we were in need of food and a leg stretch. At about the same time we stumbled onto the Leesburg outlet (Premium Outlets). Charlene made me go into Coach in my sweats! THE Coach store in my sweats! Yes, the one with leather handbags, briefcases, suitcases etc! Everyone looked at me like the homeless person that had the audacity to beg for money in the richest neighborhood in New York City! – LOW
Saturday two of my closest friends were married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and it was fantastic to spend time with old friends! We danced,
caught up on what everyone was doing with their lives and laughed. We laughed a lot. It is impossible not to with this group of particular friends; I depend on them to keep me from taking life to seriously! – HIGH
We woke up on Sunday to find that I had fully infected Moanna with whatever illness I had been hosting. To keep Moanna home and from spreading the plague to her entire nursery class, Steve and I decided that we would take turns staying with her. I went to church while Steve stayed home that morning. Steve went to church events that evening while I stayed home with Moanna. I am not sure how Steve’s morning went with Miss Mo, but my evening went something like this, “Mommy, I need a drink. Mommy, I need “Blue’s Clues.” Mommy, I need milk. Mommy, I need Blanket. Mommy…” You get the idea. Poor thing was so sick and sad, but I was not doing a good job being her slave when I was still down with the sickness too! - LOW
Moanna and I spent all day Monday watching “Blue’s Clues.” I mean ALL DAY! The only break we took was to go to the doctor to be poked and prodded at. After that it was right back to “Blue’s Clues”- LOW
Tuesday was not much better. We slept and cried most of the day. – LOW
Steve came home Tuesday evening to rescue us from each other. We went for a Big Ride in the car to make Moanna happy. After hunting for fire bugs and deer, we decided to pick up dinner and head home. Applebees Carside To Go for Steve and I, and a Happy Meal complete with Chicken McNuggets and an “Orange Coke” for Miss Mo. – HIGH
Wednesday was looking up. Moanna was willing to eat without being bribed, and she had the energy to play for a little bit. I thought we were in the clear and recovery would be a breeze from that point on. That was until Moanna decided to throw a coughing fit that caused her to repeatedly throw up all over herself and the carpeted floor. She looked at me and said, “I make a mess Mommy!” At this point do you laugh or do you sit down in the mess and cry? - LOW
After cleaning up child and carpet, Moanna was ready for, yet again, another round of “Blue’s Clues.” We are searching for a clue when we hear this loud popping noise. Moments later, after the clue is found, DVD player kicks the bucket right there in the middle of the show! How dare it!? Doesn’t the DVD player know that it is the only reason I have been able to sooth this child for the past three days? Doesn’t it know that “Blue’s Clues” is the only reason I’ve been able to pee alone!? Making matters worse, the DVD player is holding “Blue’s Clues” hostage! The darn thing won’t even open! – LOW
Today, Moanna and I made a mutual agreement that it would be best if she and I go our separate ways. Neither of us felt great to say the least, but the time had come to face the world again. So, off we went; Mo to Nanny and PopPop’s, and I to work. Freedom! Someone new to talk to and cough on! Don’t think Moanna wasn’t thinking the same thing. I know she was stoked to have someone new to sweat on and wipe her nasty runny little nose on! – HIGH
Today’s high was quickly abandoned when I arrived at work. I had 11 new voice mails and 96 new emails that all needed my attention before the day was done. Why is it that when you are out sick there is no way possible to ease back into things when you return? You open your office door and WHAM! Your computer and phone are waiting to punch you in the face with all of the secretarial notes they have been keeping up with for you while you’ve been out! – LOW
How does Friday plan to close the market for the week? Will I be buying up what it is selling? Or, will I be pushing my broker to unload all of the worthless stock that continues to crash before my eyes?
“Blue’s Clues” Rules…
“Blue’s Clues” Rules! “Blue’s Clues” rules the TV that is… In the past 24 hours I have easily watched the same two episodes of “Blue’s Clues” no less than 8 times! And, we are working on the 9th time as we speak!
I know! I know! You are probably thinking, “That is way too much TV for a 2 year old.” I agree 110%, but it is the only thing that has made a very sick Moanna the slightest bit happy and calm. And at this point, I am willing to let her party until 2:00AM if it keeps her from throwing those fits that she has been having the past two days. I am honestly waiting for her to morph into an alien or gremlin when she freaks out like that! It is terrifying!
She started feeling bad a few days ago, and now it has turned into a full-blown flu like sickness. I am guilty of passing it onto her – “Blue’s Clues” is my punishment! Nurse Grandma Kelly says it is probably Swine Flu (H1N1 to be Politically Correct)! I suppose we will find out today when she and I both report to the doctor. I hope the doc can give us an alternate treatment plan to replace the “Blue’s Clues” IV drip that we have been on. While it is soothing her pain, it is killing every last good brain cell that my “probable Swine Flu” has not attacked.
“Hmmmm”
My head is stuck! It is not stuck in the neck of a turtleneck or in a fence. No, either of those would be fields of daisies right now! It is stuck in the slightly tilted to the right “hmmm position”. For example, you are standing inline at McDonald’s and the cashier says, “small, medium or large?” You respond by tilting your head ever-so-slightly to the right – you might even raise your index finger to your lips- and go, “Hmmm… Large.” It’s not like you would ever choose anything less than large, so why tilt your head slightly to the right and say, “hmmm”?
My head has been stuck in the “hmmm position” starting circa lunch time today. Since then, I have been moving around like an animatronic at an amusement park. Not at all efficient when you work in food service! In addition, my throat is feels like I have swallowed rocks. My shoulders and every other muscle of my body are screaming out in agony. AND, I get hot and cold flashes periodically!
Despite all of this, I had to go to work today. Believe me, if I thought I would be in less pain by staying home, I would not have even thought of getting out of bed. However, missing today would have put me very far behind. When my head recovered from it’s “hmmmm” fit, I would return to work to be greeted by a huge headache of paperwork and correspondence to catch up on.
I thought that when I returned home after work, I would have time to lay down and maybe force my head to “hmmm” in the other direction. NOPE! As soon as, I walked in the door, I remembered that I am going out of town for two days on a business trip. That means I must pack myself, and my daughter up to leave Dodge. (While I am away, Moanna will stay at my mom’s because Steve has been working until midnight). Moanna is in the mood to play and cuddle. Since I am denying her mommy fun-time , she cries and then wants to be held. My family probably would appreciate not starving to death the next few days, so it would be best if I cooked for them.
Soup sounds delicious right now, but since my head is stuck in the “hmmm position” , I don’t think that is a wise dinner choice. Gravity would take over, and my delicious soup would run down the side of my face! Not attractive to anyone… not even to those who love you a whole bunch!
All that keeps flashing through my head right now is the pain and agony of a four-hour car trip tomorrow morning. No neck support! The bumps! The turning! The inertia! How am I ever going to make it there alive?! Although, at least I’m not driving… If I were driving, we would “hmmm” right off the side of the road!
Phew! We Survived the Party!
It was about midnight on Friday when I started thinking, “This is going to be a complete nightmare!” As parents, why do we willingly invite stress into our lives? Why do we welcome dozens of people into our homes to give them the prime chance to watch us flailing about? As if they don’t have plenty of opportunities to give us the sideways ‘what kind of mother are you’ looks on an average day, we open the doors for our entire social circle to judge us at the exact same time in our own homes where we should be free of such judgements!
You must understand that at this point in the night, I was covered in black icing trying to replicate tiger and zebra stripes on the 48 cupcakes waiting to be adorned on my kitchen counter. It was two hours past my targeted bedtime. Nothing I had wanted to accomplish that evening was finished. All decorations-not up! Presents-not wrapped! Cupcakes- not iced! Food- not prepped! Renee- exhausted!
I refused to go to bed until the cupcakes were done! Finally, at about 1:00AM all 43 of them (several zebras were attacked by vicious tigars) were happily lined up on the counter! Decorations – not up! Presents- not wrapped! Cupcakes – ICED! Food – not prepped! Renee – still exhausted!
When I woke up the next morning, amazing things began to happen. I opened my bedroom door to the smell of my mother-in-law’s homemade danishes! When I turned the corner, I saw my father-in-law hanging the decorations I didn’t finish the night before. When I stepped into the home office slash Moanna’s private Chucky Cheese, I saw that my husband was taking toys outside for the children to play with!
Things were going smoothly.Presents were finally wrapped. Decorations were up. I even had time to shower! However, I began to get nervous again when the hash browns were not browning! The party began at 10:00AM, and I had about 30 minutes until showtime. On cue my mom (queen of all hash browns) and step-dad arrived. They quickly took over finishing up the food.
By 10:30AM our house was packed with about 30 guests. They ranged from 8 months old to 80 years old. I had no idea that our home could handle that many people at once. What is more surprising is that we had that many people in our home at once, and no one was severely injured… physically or emotionally! Everyone was fed, and everyone seemed to have a great time.
Thank God for giving parents, and husbands who can tell when you are on the verge of cracking! Thank you to everyone who helped make Moanna’s party a success, and to everyone who came to share the special day with us!
Now when you ask our daughter how old she is, she happily says, “Two in June!” brought to you by Grandma Annette, and Papa Bob!
Planning Moanna’s Second Birthday Party
Our daughter, Moanna, will be having her Second Birthday Party tomorrow. Our house will be full of friends, family, food and fun. We’re all excited about the celebration. Moanna is excited too; she’s doesn’t quite get what the commotion is all about, but she is hyped up and stoked!
In the midst of all this excitement, I must admit there is a small part of me that is dreading the the Big Bash. Don’t get me wrong, I love celebrating Moanna’s life with friends, family, food and fun. But, MAN, is it a lot of work and money! The house needs to be clean, so that half a dozen or so munchkins can destroy it. Decorations that will be up for just a few hours need to be bought and strategically placed using the tried and true Scotch Tape method. Tons of food needs to be prepared so that it can then be devoured. Oh, and it would be nice to look refreshed when guests arrive. It would be nice to look like that Mommy that can do it all without breaking a sweat or threatening to put her husband in time out… Ok I don’t put Steve in timeout… But what if we could do that!?
So, why is it that we make such a fuss over birthday parties for our children, even when they are too young to really get what is going on? Is it to celebrate the joys and milestones in the Little One’s life? Yay, Moanna learned how to use the potty, or take off her cloths and pee in the bed! Yay! Or, is it to celebrate the milestones and joys in our life as the parent? Yay, we taught (with the help of family and friends) Moanna how to use the potty! Or, yay, no broken bones! Either way, it is a pretty awesome day! Completely worth the fuss, sweat and putting Steve in timeout!
Step Right Up…
Welcome to Me, Myself and Mommy! I decided that my daughter’s second birthday was a fitting time to finally start blogging about my tight-walk act of finding balance between who I am as a person and who I am as a mommy. It’s an act I’ve been trying to balance out my entire mommy life. And now, fully knowing that I will be judged daily by my friends, family and total strangers (not that I’m not already judged on a daily basis), I am willing to share the exciting, painful, emotional and sometimes totally hilarious circus act with the world. So take a seat and enjoy the craziest show in my world!
