No matter how old you are or where you live, if you are far from home it is normal that from time to time you feel a little sad because you miss those you love most: your family. There is no thing that does not make you remember them: a song, a meal, a place or the photos that you accidentally see on your cell phone. Being away is not easy!
There are many reasons that make you move away from your loved ones: studies abroad, search for better opportunities or employment in another city. And although it is normal to feel sad from time to time, it is an emotional state that you should avoid above all things. According to Gananci, these are some reasons why you need a plan B.
Here are some tips that will help you not feel sad when you are away from home, take note!
Internalize your reasons for being away
Once you have taken that big step by completely abandoning your comfort zone, it is important to be clear about the reasons that made you walk away: Do you want to grow professionally? Did a great opportunity come to your door? Are there no sources of employment in your country? Do you want to help your family financially?
Constantly remembering your goals will help you maintain focus, feel motivated and close the door to sadness. However, if you are that type of person who is carried away by the memories, a good way to keep the focus is to have a notebook with your reasons and goals noted. In this way, when you feel sad just open it to recover the perspective.
Keep your mind busy
They say that “a busy mind does not miss anyone”,and there is nothing more accurate than this. Obviously, if your motive for getting away from home was not fun, surely you will be busy most of the time. However, on your days off, if you stay all day at home, your mind will begin to fly and, BOOM!, Some tears may begin to sprout. There is nothing wrong with feeling nostalgic, the problem is when you start to think too much and focus, perhaps, on the negative part of not being with your family. To avoid this, plan things for yourself during the week: go to the beach, go for a bike ride, attend a yoga class or do whatever you think is fun. You will see that at the end of the day your memories will be so pleasant, that you will want to talk with your family just to tell them how well you spent it. This not only does you good, but also your family, Well knowing you makes them truly happy. If you are going through a difficult time, readthese phrases of encouragement in Gananci.
Make new friends
No matter where you are, having friends is one of the best remedies to not feel sad in this new life that you decided to undertake. Making new friends is like building a new family, a solid foundation of mutual support, a unit and having that warmth of home even when you are far away from your family. Do not isolate yourself or die to die. Remember that suffering is optional. If they invite you to go out, go! If they invite you to eat, go! If they invite you to run, go! Say yes to everything and you will see how little by little you will begin to create solid bonds with some people who, after all, will be with you both in good times and bad.
Keep in touch with your family
Talk with your family every day. It does not matter if they are not available at the same time, be sure to always leave a message, send a photograph or some voice note. They will do the same as soon as they receive something from you. Also make sure to set one day a week to make a video call and tell them in detail everything you did during the last days. In this way you can feel them closer even if they are far away. Keep in mind that communication is vital to stay motivated, happy and with your feet firmly on the ground. Besides, you are not the only one who misses, your family also misses you. Let them know that everything is going positively!
Definitely, distance can be a huge challenge for many. However, they are stages of life that must be lived. The secret is to stay focused.
Do you have any other advice you want to share to avoid sadness?…
It can be difficult at times to be away from family or loved ones, when for major reasons you have to leave. Having to leave your place to train academically, for work, for health reasons and many other situations that may happen in life.
It is truly a great change in a person’s life. It is a new stage, new challenges, new opportunities, new relationships, new friendships, new neighbors, etc. Everything is new and we want to experiment and discover what is in the environment.
For a person accustomed to the comforts of a family or who did not care about chores, only about their personal things, being away from the family may seem like a sacrifice. Beyond the everyday things that need to be done in a house, getting used to being alone and dealing with not having the presence of the people we love can be difficult for some. As human beings, we often need the containment of others and feel accompanied.
Sometimes, when things are going well, we can overlook those who are far away. We can not call them, or hang on to send text messages. But when reality is raw, when it does not go as we expected, if things do not turn out well, we realize how much we miss our loved ones.
Sometimes we can feel like leaving everything and running to find what we leave. The desire to want to be with our people is so great that sometimes our eyesight becomes cloudy and we remain blind with our initial objectives. We want to give up.
But there are options to continue in course and deal with the difficulties we can find. Mainly, we must focus on not being so negative by seeing what we lack, but putting our focus on all the good that is at our disposal. There are so many interesting possibilities that perhaps we still do not know and that we can discover in a new place , things that perhaps do not exist at home. This includes knowing new people.
Of course you should always be extra cautious with those people you do not know. It is not prudent to blindly trust any stranger, and one should always walk carefully in every new relationship. But through the right channels we can get to know reliable people with similar hobbies to ours, and discover friendships that bring wealth to our life.
On the other hand, all the effort we make, to deprive ourselves of being with our own, we must see it as an investment, a springboard to achieve our dreams and our desires.
This change is sometimes abrupt and requires dedication and great care to adapt to your new environment. Especially the first days, until the roots take the necessary strength so that it remains firm. Over time, its fruits will speak for themselves. “ So it is with those who must leave their place, get away from their families. It is a necessary process for our growth.…
I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been blessed with Moanna’s brilliance, so I hope this makes up for it just a little tiny bit.
While putting up the Christmas tree…
Josh, “I didn’t know you had a saw?”
Moanna, “Well, APPARENTLY, we do!”
Trying to calm Orion down…
Moanna, “He won’t stop crying!”
Me, “Give him a binki.”
Moanna, “He doesn’t want the binki! CLEARLY, that is a “feed me cry” and I’m not equipped to handle that.”
When I’m in the zone, aka not paying attention to Moanna…
“Snap out of it Momma!”
Setting Orion down on the floor with Moanna…
Me, “Can Orion hang out with you for a few minutes so I can start dinner?”
Moanna, “I really need some alone time away from Orion right now.”
Me, “… ”
… We all need our alone time now and then.
After very slowly and dramatically laying down in the middle of the floor…
“I’m too hungry to walk. I can’t go on any longer.”…
Some how my weekly baby posts went from weekly, to bi-weekly, to bi-monthly… These things happen when you have the cutest babies in the world.
The past two months have flown by at the speed of light. I am seriously amazed that this little guy is already three months old! I’m not sure how or when he went from being a new born to being a baby, nor am I sure when I went from being a total mess to being somewhat of a competent Mommy of two.
Orion is the happiest baby in the world. He smiles and laughs more than any baby I’ve ever met. When we go out and about, people are constantly telling me how they’ve never seen a baby that young and that engaged in the world. He is quite charming and he loves the ladies. You should see him turn on the flirt when a lady talks to him. A girl, familiar or new to him, can make eye contact with him and he’s all, “How you doin’?”
This kid hardly ever cries. Even when he’s “crying” it’s only to communicate. He’s not one to cry for sport. As long as he’s fed, has a dry butt and isn’t board you won’t hear a single protest from him. When he does protest, he has the cutest pouty lip you have ever seen. It’s to die for. Model agencies wish their babies had this pout.
The breastfeeding has drastically improved. He loves it. Looooves it. If I allowed him to, he would nurse 24/7. Now our challenge is that I don’t have quite enough milk to keep him satisfied so we’ve had to supplement him most days. He’s quite the little piggy. If I could sit around and nurse all day, supplementing probably wouldn’t be necessary. I really wanted to breastfeed exclusively until Orion was six months and continue nursing until he was one. I admire those of you who can accomplish that, and it still may be possible for Orion to get some breast milk for several more months, but I’m not sure that my original goal of nursing for a year is a realistic plan for us. Since our lives are so busy, and I have another little one to take care of, I have to accept my lacking milk supply and be grateful for what I can nurse and pump.
I fear (in a good way) that we are going to have an early crawler on our hands. When Orion spends time on his tummy he pushes up on to his hands for short periods of time so that he can look around. He also propels himself forward by digging his toes into the floor and stretching his legs. When held in a sitting position, he looks around and holds himself upright for extended periods of time before loosing focus and flopping over. He’s also starting to reach and grip onto things.
Steve has been traveling for most of the past two months, so we spend time on Skype. When Orion hears Steve’s voice, he perks up and starts looking for him. It’s really sweet. Orion loves his big sister. They play together more than I thought they would at this point. If it’s been more than an hour since Moanna has seen Orion she MUST see him. When I pick her up from primary with him, she is delighted to see Orion. I don’t think she even cares that I am there.
Orion’s likes and dislikes are developing more and more every day. It has been so fun to get to know him. His current dislikes are having a dirty diaper, being alone for too long and getting board. His current likes are playing with people (especially his big sister), getting changed (aka being naked), being outside, snuggling and eating. He’s very passionate about eating. For him it is much more than a survival thing.
And because people tend to be obsessed with babies’ weights, Orion is a whopping eleven pounds now.…
Dear Blog, I have not forgotten you. You are still deeply loved. I can’t wait until we have time to catch up, and boy do we have a lot to catch up on…
Really, I do love you. It’s just that…
These three cuties have had me very busy recently. It’s hard to tear myself away from them long enough to shower let alone accomplish much else…
It’s October first and time for new 30 Day Challenges. This round I’m going to tackle two challenges.
If you are unfamiliar with 30 Day Challenges, check out this post for some inspiration. Go ahead; I’ll be here when you get back. Brilliant idea huh? Wish I’d thought of it myself.
My October Challenges are…
Challenge 1 – For the next 30 days I’m going to get up at the same time every single day. For some of you, especially those of you who don’t even need an alarm clock to wake you up, this is a far cry from a challenge. For those of you who are not the morning type, this challenge seems outlandish. I struggle with waking up in the morning. I’m not mean or grumpy and once I’m up, I’m good to go. Getting my feet to hit the floor is the challenge. That is why I’m going to make getting up at the same time every morning one of my 30 Day Challenges. What time you ask? Gulp, 6:30AM, including weekends. Crazy, right? Some of you have been up for hours at 6:30AM and others won’t even thinking of turning over for several more hours. For me, that time is a carefully calculated time. I wrote out a weekly schedule for myself, and in that process realized that in order for my family (and myself) to have a successful day, I need to get up at 6:30AM. No one else in my family (well, maybe Orion) is awake at that time, and I need that time to get showered and dressed so that when everyone else emerges from their slumber I am ready to help launch them for the day. I’m excited and nervous, but either way I know it’s what needs to happen.
Challenge 2 – For the next 30 days I’m going to write a daily to-do list and a daily ta-da list. My long-term memory is phenomenal. My short-term memory leaves a lot to be desired. If you add in the fact that I’m sleep deprived and have not one but two crazy cute kids distracting me every five minutes it’s amazing that I remember to do anything on the daily or running lists in my head. Making a to-do list will help me focus and create an action plan every day. Waking up and saying to myself, “Ugh… What needs to be done today? I know there is a lot on my agenda, but I can’t remember a single thing I said I was going to conquer today,” is very discouraging and demotivating. Waking up and saying to myself, “Let’s see what’s on my list today,” is empowering and motivating. When you have a to-do list, you don’t have to spend energy and waste time trying to remember what you need to do. In addition to the to-do list, I will be making ta-da lists. I think ta-da lists are equally as important, if not more important than, to-do lists. You can read about my love for ta-da lists here. It’s important to acknowledge and celebrate everything we accomplish in a day. My hope in writing these daily lists is that it will help me stay driven and focused.
My challenges this month don’t seem earth shaking on the surface, but they are challenges that will help my productivity and the success of my family. My hope is that these challenges will create long lasting habits.
I finally completed two out of three of my 30 Day Challenges! AND it only took me 72 days to do it! You see this baby of mine decided to show up three weeks early right smack dab in the middle of my challenges and it put a slight delay on things.
Orion made his debut on Day 16, so my challenges were split right in half. For the first 15 days I did awesome. I completed every challenge, every day with one exception. I was deathly ill the day before I went into labor, and didn’t make it to the office. After Orion was born, I took a six weeks “maternity leave.” After that six weeks, I restarted my challenges. I was able to complete my office challenge and my self spoiling challenge. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to complete the reading and commenting on ten new blogs a day challenge. I did it for a couple of days after the restart, but life with a new born is ca-razy and some days I didn’t even open my computer. Since I wasn’t able to complete that challenge, I am committed to finishing that challenge during the month of October. I have 13 days left of that challenge.
I won’t put you through the snooze fest of recapping the office challenge, but I will put you through a recap of my self spoiling challenge. That challenge scared me the most because I have never been very good at spoiling myself. I’ve gone through periods of being a good self spoiler and times of forgetting to take care of myself, much less spoil myself. I am proud of myself for being able to do something nice for myself for 30 days. Some days I did a much better job than others, but regardless I made a point to do something for myself each day.
1 – Read a magazine
2 – Showered alone (Moanna usually invades my showers)
3 – Went to bed early
4 – Took a shower alone and had Steve help me lotion my legs since my pregnant self was too fat to reach
5 – Watched Black Swan and ate ice cream (AMAZING movie!)
6 – Had a lazy day and didn’t cook (lame)
7 – Showered alone and went to Relief Society
8 – Went to Yin Yoga and read Ensign while waiting for class to start
9 – Napped and went to bed early
10 – Bought a few maternity clothes (that were returned because I went into labor before I had the chance to wear them)
11 – Watched Due Date (terrible movie), napped and went to bed early
12 – Laid down early and stayed up late talking to hubs on the phone
13 – Started reading a new book
14 – Read a little and showered alone until Moanna invaded the bathroom
15 – Showered, shaved my legs and clipped my toenails AFTER my water broke
16 – Got dressed to shoes as soon as I woke up
17 – Bought a shirt
18 – Got eyebrows waxed
19 – Wore heels
20 – Drove alone in the car (for me that’s a big deal because I’m never alone in the car)
21 – Napped
22 – Showered alone
23 – Went to lunch with friends and hung out at a friend’s house
24 – Watched TV alone after the kids went to sleep
25 – Researched and contacted potential women’s groups to join
26 – Called a friend
27 – Went to bed early (boo mastitis)
28 – Napped (boo mastitis)
29 – Had a friend come over to hang out
30 – Spent an hour and a half getting ready and went to a Junior League social
This challenge reminded me of the importance of taking care of and loving myself. I have been reminded that I am worth spoiling and that taking time to do nice things for myself gives me the energy I need to accomplish the many things on my daily to-do lists.
Now it’s time to start thinking about the next 30 days……
Yesterday was productive. A Ta-Da List is in order. Sadly, I don’t remember everything I did. This is why it’s important to write your list as you go.
Read half a book
Cleaned microwave and stovetop
Did a load of laundry
Wrote this post
Nursed more times than I can count on both hands
Pumped 1 ounce of milk
Touched up two bathrooms
Helped Moanna clean her room
Researched a few things online
Worked on blog stuff
… What am I forgetting?…
The love between these two is too much to take.
Moanna loves Orion. Like, love, love, loves him.
Orion loves Moanna. Like, love, love, loves her.
Of course they express this love in different ways.Moanna expresses her love by smothering him with affection and cooing over him nonstop. Since Orion can’t smother and coo (well, he can but his vocab isn’t as extensive as Moanna’s), he expresses his love for Moanna by perking up when he sees her or hears her voice and trying to eat her face when she’s smothering him with love and coos.
In other news, we have the cutest flipping kids in the entire flipping world! I dare you to disagree.
And in case you were wondering, this is what we call sibling skin-to-skin. Moanna saw how Steve and I did skin-to-skin snuggling with Orion, and she wanted to do it too so that, and I quote “It’s important for Orion and I to bond.”
Ladies and gents, Mr. Orion has a middle name. Finally!
I’d like you to meet, Orion James Adams.
James is Steve’s middle name and Jai’s (my stepdad’s) first name. We had a handful of middle names we were playing with for awhile. They all were good names with meaning and family ties. However, James spoke to us and sounded the best in between Orion and Adams.…